Today, I'm going to vent & journal. I have to. If this is what will prevent me from losing my mind & lashing out, then that's what I'll do.
It seems like, the only people who pay attention to me are the obsessed narcissistic perps who get paid to stalk all of my online activity. How come it's OK for y'all to make money to survive & not me? It's the WORST nightmare, that even other TI's betray me & side eye me like the perps & the rest of the world. See? I've been hated, rejected & treated like I'm not welcome on the face of this Earth since I was 3 years old. That was my 1st memory of discrimination & being singled out. At that daycare.
Many of y'all have heard me tell the story about how we were abused in foster care & put in a cult. Being an identical twin, I shouldn't have to be forced to walk around homeless & begging, while my twin sister is living in comfort! Foster care abuse destroyed my family irreparably. My twin sister picked up where the foster mom left off, with the abuse, & has TOTALLY sold out! Everyone in society has always pitted us against each other & favored her over me. They didn't treat us equally. I often wonder how our lives would have turned out if we never got taken away, even if the biological mother was supposedly a "horrible" mother. Me & my twin sister probably would've been close & getting along well. The way we were raised was NOT NORMAL! I believe that the foster mom did Voodoo/witchcraft to cause us so much "bad luck" in life. I believe the foster mom was the 1 who put me in the Gang Stalking program.
The fake IDMR cult members didn't care about us. The Craft family across the street didn't care about us. We were discriminated against, treated unfairly, singled out, bullied & abused in school. Neighbors gossipped about us. The foster mom having everyone watch our EVERY MOVE & then report everything back to her, even after I graduated from UNIVERSITY! She wonders why we were so "disrespectful"! She never treated her birth children, her grandchildren or the newer foster children the way she treated us. We didn't do nearly 1/2 the bad things that the newer foster kids did!
I never stood a chance! I was 17 years old & dealt with Workplace Mobbing & discrimination. Before then, it was hard to get a job. Even after. Workplace Discrimination & no one wanting to hire me. The foster mom succeeded at halting my success in life & belittling me. Talking down to me. Predicting my future failures in life. She didn't treat her birth children this way! Drive around the neighborhood, telling me that I'm going to grow up to be this & that drug addict, homeless person or prostitute. That I'm schizophrenic, crazy & lack common sense. That everything I do or say is illogical, irrational, incoherent & doesn't make sense. How can you say that to someone who graduated from high school with Honors?
All of this once I started speaking up & speaking out against her psych games & abuse. She was already abusive, but she scapegoated me about the loss of her mother back in 1997. I believe that this is how my targeting began, & the Masonic Craft family was involved.
I used to tell myself as a child, "I can't wait until I turn 18"! Strange that I feel like, because of this targeting, I have less freedom & more restrictions as an adult, than when I was a child.
38 years old, still being bossed, controlled & disrespected by people younger than me & even CHILDREN! I'm not allowed to drive or have a car, even if it means for me to get off the streets & better my life. Biological & foster family members deliberately created "mental health" crises for me, on purpose, to prevent me from having a higher college GPA, & they nearly succeeded at trying to get me to not be able to graduate.
I've been homeless numerous times, off & on. But it's the WORST NIGHTMARE to be consistently on the streets long term, off & on since July 31, 2018 with no permanent place to live. & even scarier that NOBODY CARES! A single disabled female homeless 38-year old Targeted Individual!
I have the freedom to say this on my blog. That I get treated like this because I'm BLACK! If I was White or any other race, I would've received help & compassion long time ago. & my own race of people oppress me & want me to suffer. Me being a BLACK single "retarded", "crazy" Targeted Individual is why society hates me & wishes me dead. I get criminalized for trying to fight for basic daily survival. White culture of people going through this don't get called "attention-seeking clout chasers". Only we Black Americans do each other dirty like this.
The narcissistic online Gang Stalkers tell everyone, "Don't help Candy because she's a fraud, a scammer, wastes all the money donated to her, she extorts money out of people, she blocks you after you donate," etc. Not true. They don't even have any proof of their smear campaigns & lies about me. & it hurts the worst, that my OWN TWIN SISTER is the chief ringleader of the smear campaigns, lies & false rumors. I keep telling other Christian Targeted Individuals that they need to use discernment, & that my twin sister has them bewitched. I'm not the "fraud" that the perps falsely paint me as. They also lie & say that I have a reputation for being ungrateful & unappreciative with a bad attitude. The perps brag to me that they lied on me. Other Targeted Individuals avoid me like the plague & hate me. Other TI's don't even comment on my YouTube videos anymore, & the ones on Twitter pretend to fake "like" my tweets, & never retweet.
That's why I feel like it's hogwash that TI's are "chosen ones" or part of the 144,000. They say that Gang Stalking is "hard to prove". They say that noise campaigns, Workplace Mobbing, forced homelessness, seeing people driving with 1 headlight in a RED Ford Escape, trying to run over you with their vehicle, isn't enough proof that you're being Gang Stalked. The online perps thumbs down ALL of my YouTube videos. Whenever I show my proof, people say that my videos are too long, or that I make the TI community look bad. Other Targeted Individuals are narcissistic, controlling & treat me no different than the perps. Lots of EXTREME jealousy & backstabbing in the TI community. On Twitter, I'm blocked before I can even follow another TI, & I don't even know that person. I'm disappointed, shocked & hurt because I thought I would get to have more support from other TI's. Everyone wants me to shut up & ignore everything. Everyone is SO fake, & they hand pick who to love & care about. Why would another REAL TI try to silence my voice or make it like I'm sinning by exposing my targeting experiences, while they can expose theirs?
Many Targeted Individuals have sadly caved in, sold out & became perps. Even the ones masquerading as "Christian". & they do the MOST damage! & they're the most powerful at causing someone to snap or be suicidal. The popular fakes. So, I'm such a loser because I turn down deals to flip, & because I want to make money the honest way, to survive.
Even other Christians & other TI's are against me. Someone got mad at me for saying this: "I don't know why a bunch of professed Christians would think that God wants a single, disabled, homeless 38-year old Christian female to suffer living on the streets in 30 degree weather!" I've been even told by fake Christian Narcissistic Abusers that "God" doesn't want me driving or having a car. I know that I can't take a car with me when I die, but if it can save me from begging & panhandling once & for all, then...
I'm on the verge of being back on the streets again, & we've been having cold, rainy weather. I have nowhere else to go. I cannot find another job soon enough. I tried. I did my due diligence. TI's don't care if I go to jail for living on the streets. They didn't even care when I was in the emergency room for chest pains last year. They didn't care about me crying out for help to be safe out of the hurricanes, tornadoes & hail!
& I'm sick of all these false narcissistic assumptions that I "burned all my bridges" from the people who tried to "help" me. Help where!!!!!????? People treat me like I don't have a right to exist on the face of this Earth! They want to try to force me to DIE!
Update: 01/25/2022
Even my own relatives have told me that they don't consider me "human"!