An email I found from 2014
Hi. I read your "From Both Sides" e-book, & thank you for writing it. If you care to read, I would like to share with you my poor foster care experience. Thanks so much.
My twin sister & I are 30 years old. I don't even know where to start. I'm still affected by foster care abuse. The foster mom molded me & my twin sister & other siblings to not get along, & it's still not working. I give up. @ age 30, I feel like nothing's gonna change. Foster & biological family are all abusive towards me, including my twin sister. I moved nearly 2,000 miles away from them because I'm tired of the abuse. My twin sister was the last person to give a chance. I have to cut her off, permanently, too. *sadly*
The story goes as, the reason why me & my twin sister got taken away as infants is because, "Abuse & neglect". The foster mom & social workers used to say that our birth mom used to put us in a clothes drawer as newborns, & when we cried, she'd shut it. Also, they used to say we were malnourished with cigarette burns on our arms. [The foster mom used to say, "I should've left you nasty, dirty babies where I found you! Y'all were so nasty, filthy & dirty that the social workers didn't even wanna touch y'all!"] I believed it was true for so many years because my biological family don't care about me anyway.
I've recently found out how the foster care system operates, & their involvement with the illuminati, NWO, etc. Me & my twin sister were in foster care since 5 or 6 mos. old all the way until 18. Even AFTER we turned 18, the foster mom & fake social workers continued to try to exercise TOTAL control over our lives.
I think I remember being on psych meds since age 5 or 6. 3 of my brothers were also in foster care with us. 1 of the brothers lived with the foster mom's sister, who's also a foster parent. The foster mom, her sister & their MOTHER were all 3 foster parents.
On top of that, my former foster mother was involved in an anti-Christian cult, called "The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research". & they taught us how to hate God, & taught us that Jesus was a false name, etc. & that Christians are the Devil. They never attack Judaism or Islam. The foster mom used to punish us for not wanting to participate in cult meetings. She told everyone in the cult, her family members & also our neighbors across the street to spy on us & keep tabs on everything we do. Cult members also ridiculed & bullied us. We were bullied in school, too. 1 thing hurts me was that people @ school used to say, "At least I know who my real mama is!" That hurt. But now, I know who my real mama is! & she's not a good person.
It seems as if our childhood was a mild form of MK-Ultra mind control programming. Thankfully, I was NEVER molested as a child, but I was forced drugged, manipulated, physically abused, mentally abused & psychologically abused, ridiculed, bullied & laughed @ & was not allowed to stand up for myself.
The foster mom used to make us backstab & betray each other. I even apologized to my siblings for all the things the foster mom manipulated us into doing, & they still hold grudges against me. I'm heterosexual, & my twin sister is gay. When we were 4 years old, the foster dad used to watch porn in front of us, but he never molested us. He would pull out his penis & urinate in front of us, while using the bathroom *sorry so graphic* with the door wide open. Also, me & my twin sister imitated what we saw on porn, & also, the foster family used to watch porn-based soap operas, but when they had the Jungle Fever or Basic Instinct movies, they made us go upstairs. My twin sister tells me 'til this day, "You were the 1 who raped me when we were 4 years old!" But she used to experiment on me when we were little. We didn't know any better. By the time I was 9, I realized it was wrong & wanted her to stop trying to sexually touch me. When she throws it in my face, I tell her that she can't fault me for something we didn't know better about. We were toddlers.
The foster dad died when we were 9 yrs. old. Shortly after his death, the foster mom got a $60,000 BMW convertible car! He probably was a blood sacrifice. He was 47 yrs. old. & She also blood sacrificed her own mom. Her mom was 76. She already had a big house. People used to say she was rich. They used to ask us if that house was haunted, & if that was a group home. After foster dad & foster grandmother died, they were cremated. Also, I used to hear doors open & shut when I would be alone downstairs. I also would hear footsteps. Like a ghost was upstairs. Our foster mom was an occultist.
Also, aside from the foster mom being in a cult, she was also speculated to have participated in voodoo, witchcraft & black magick. Funny because my biological family also practice it. I don't know how to practice it & DON'T WANT TO learn how to practice it! We're from New Orleans, by the way.
Even the people @ our childhood daycare/nursery used to physically abuse & beat us. That's a whole different topic. Our school teachers used to physically abuse & beat us, & they used to provoke us to anger, on purpose for an excuse to restrain us.
In kindergarten, the they used to say I was a bad kid, & that I was the smartest kid in the class with high intelligence, despite my developmental delay. I was thought of to have pervasive developmental disorder-NOS, but it was ruled out. I had speech therapy & other developmental therapies. But anyway, the teachers tried to justify locking me up in a small, dark janitorial closet for 6 hrs. a day until my "behavior" improved.
As a result, I ended up with childhood MPD/DID. I used to dissociate. I think I grew out of it. By age 12, I didn't dissociate anymore. Funny how my MPD/DID was replaced with Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, GAD, etc. once I hit middle school. Yes, I know these are all labels.
Since age 16, I suffered hypersensitive ears, & I got bullied for it. I still suffer hyperacusis. I had braces. My Tourette's caused my TMJ. I thought braces would make it better. It made it worse. Speaking of orthodontics/dentistry, they forced us against our will to get mercury amalgam fillings since age 5 (Hello, Medi-Caid/Big Pharma), & now my whole back row of teeth are filled with this poison. That's why I'm crazy! Amalgams are neurotoxins, & I have no way to get them out of my mouth. I was labeled a bad kid for wrestling the dentists, putting that in my mouth & also the doctors force vaccinating me. I used to fight the pediatric nurses, too. I can't believe the kindergarten teachers used to make up lies on 5-yr. old kids! SMH Make up lies on a 5 yr. old child about what they observed in an IEP meeting. & they would secretly observe me without me knowing.
By my Sr. Yr. in high school, I was more vocal about the abuse, & even the high school counselors were fake towards me, I was bullied, harassed, singled out, discriminated against & picked on by my own counselors, teachers, the disciplinarians abusing their authority, abused & bulied by the principal, etc. The whole school of kids bullied me, & even my twin sister helped other kids bully me. I'm surprised I didn't drop out of school.
Sorry I'm jumpy with topics on my explanation. I can never think straight, & the foster mom convinced everyone to think I'm crazy & that everything I say is illogical, incoherent, irrational & doesn't make sense. My twin sister & biological family picked up where the foster mom left off, with the abuse & control of me, & also it seems like the foster mom & birth mom have a lot in common. But they're enemies. They're both manipulative, abusive & practice witchcraft.
I've been nothing but put down & abused all my life. Torture. & the cops would side with them. When we turned 18, the foster mom stole our trust fund check & my social security backpay check. I was so upset that I didn't even want SSI & Social Security benefits!
But anyway, I was drugged to a zombie. During my sophomore yr. in high school, my Spanish teacher thought I died because I couldn't wake up, & the teachers used to want to fail me & punish me for falling asleep in school, saying that I use the meds as an excuse. They put me on Prozac, & once I got on that medicine, people started calling me greedy. People still say I'm greedy & eat too much. Prozac is 94% fluoride! So, we brush our teeth with Prozac (toothpaste), our tap water is Prozac.
The psychiatrist used to make threats to put me in the mental ward as a child, but it never happened. She was from India. When we had our sessions, she would speak to my twin sister & foster mom for 4 hrs., & would encourage them to gang up on me, & she would let them make up lies on me, & I was never allowed to explain my side of the story during a crisis. Every time I tried to stand up for myself, she used to raise the Seroquel or Risperdal dosage as a punishment for trying to talk during a session.
& 1 time, the foster mom told a lady that she was going to have the psychiatrist put me on a medicine that's gonna destroy my liver & kill me. We used to get punished for EVERYTHING! Also, the foster mom used to force us to clean up like slaves. Forcing us to clean up, plus calling us trifling, filthy & nasty, like a broken record, is the reason I have OCD. Mainly washing dishes as a punishment. The 9-bedroom 2-story house was expected to be cleaned up in 1 day, & the foster mom used to make us ask for food & drink, or else it's stealing. When we were little, we used to get a whipping with a belt for "stealing" water! & we used to have to eat peanut butter & jelly on stale moldy bread, as a punishment. As we got older, she & her new husband used to force us to peel shrimp for them to eat, while were forced to eat 6 day old (cooked & been in the fridge for 6 days) moldy Ramen noodles. When we refused to peel the shrimp, we were punished from field trips & had added chores, like cleaning the yard as a punishment. (Also, off-topic, but speaking of the foster step-dad, he used to abuse & manipulate & provoke us to anger, & he used to beat & choke us, & he used to watch the porn channel @ the loudest volume). The foster mom has 3 kids of her own, & she used to sick them on us like dogs. I'm suffering PTSD from the foster mom's son's abuse.
When we turned 18, the foster mom got more kids, & she used to make them abuse & control me after I turn 18 & she used to FORCE me to obey the 14-yr. old foster boys. 1 time, she told a foster boy to hit me, & he knocked me to the ground. I called the cops IMMEDIATELY, & the cops took their side & threatened me with jail. I confronted the fake social worker about her abuse & teaming with the foster mom to steal our $$. The foster mom was cleverly evil. During our Sr. Yr. in high school, when we were working, the foster mom put HERSELF on our bank accounts with our names on it (I know. We were still minors), but when we turned 18, the banks said that was HER $$ since she was head over the account. My twin sister (the thug dyke she is) was able to threaten the banks for her money back. The banks didn't give me my $$ back from the $$ the foster mom stole. Also, the Social Security people tried to blame me, saying that I was stupid & that I signed my checks OVER to the foster mom & social workers, & I didn't know that I blindly did it without realizing. I didn't realize they had this scheme carefully planned for YEARS! The foster mom never wanted us, but money was the reason why she kept us. I also heard 1 of the foster mom's neighbors said that we were actually adopted, but "labeled" foster kids & didn't have the foster mom's last name because she could get more money for us by not changing our last names. I'm hurt to know that we were victims of human trafficking, we were cash cows, used as puppets. The foster mom molded us to not be able to stand up for ourselves, & now, people in society think we enjoy being abused.
None of my biological nor foster family care about me. Not even my twin sister. I have no support system. People see me as a nuisance to society, & I'm unwanted, unwelcome & unaccepted everywhere I go. If something bad happens to me, If I die, my family don't care. People use me, take advantage of me, rape me, bully me, etc. & they say I put myself in the position & allow it. I don't have a counselor or anyone to talk to. Every time I reach out for help, I get hurt again. I sometimes wonder what's the point of me existing on the face of this Earth.
My twin sister is still a part of that cult, & that cult believes that Christians are DEFORMED IDIOTS. My twin sister voluntarily put her 3 kids in the system, just to continue the gay lifestyle. She got married & had 3 kids, just for a front to be accepted by society, for her being gay. Now her kids are in foster care, drugged to a zombie, & she's OK with it. She used to neglect & ignore her own kids & leave them to eat their own feces & drink out toilets. But she falsely accused me & everyone she gets angry with, of molesting her kids. She probably molested her own kids & blames it on everyone else. She falsely accused me, 1 of my brothers, her husband, & 1 of her ex-girlfriends, & I lose friends because of her lies. I give up on trying to get along with my using, abusive, bullying, controlling, man-dyke twin sister! The foster mom & social workers were a whole bunch of hardcore butch man-dykes, too. Sorry. Not trying to be homophobic, but this is part of the Satanic agenda. 1 of my brothers is also gay. People act like they can use homosexuality to control others who don't think that way.
The foster mom used to tell me that I have to learn how to "conform to the norms of society." & everything I did or said maid no sense to her. She used to tell me I'm gonna wind up in jail or dead & deserve it. She used to make threats to kill me. She used to drive me around the corner from the house & see a crackhead & say, "That's how you're gonna end up. You're gonna be a crackhead prostitute, living underneath the bridge, wondering where your next meal is gonna come from. & I'm not gonna be taking care of you!" She tried to FORCE us to be dependent upon her even after we turned 18. I still had to have permission to go places & do things. After I turned 18, the abuses got worse.
When I was 17 & working @ Popeye's, she used to take ALL my checks I worked for, & got mad when I spent it when I turned 18, saying, "How much $$ you got in the bank?" I would say, "$2." Then she say, "What!? You weren't even supposed to TOUCH that money!" She used to lie & say we spent all our $$ on junk food. She would give us $20/month & try to control how we spent it. She used that lie to justify stealing our $$. & also, right after she issued the $20/mo. She would be no better than the user bullies @ school & borrow my allowance $$, lie & say she's gonna pay me back, & then threaten to knock my teeth out for asking for my allowance $$.
People say that I'm too negative, energy-draining & complain too much, & that I'm childish & immature. They say I'm easy target, gullible & vulnerable. & when people in society treat me in a way that reminds me of my foster care abuse, they tell me I'm projecting & being unfair.
I have social struggles & have trouble getting along with people. I'm a very nice person, but ghetto thugs like to bully me in public for no reason. I am dying & BEGGING for help & support! No one listens to me & everyone always tunes me out & ignores me.
Sorry this is so long. This was a very therapeutic release for me. Thanks for reading. I need support & have no one to talk to. People always call me sick, crazy, slow & retarded. My biological family doesn't acknowledge me as family because of foster care. It wasn't my fault. My biological family, including twin sister, use me, take advantage of me, threaten me out of my money, beat me up, make lies/rumors about me, etc. Sound familiar? Sometimes, I say that we were taken away for nothing. My twin sister lies to try to MAKE everyone HATE me. I moved away from everyone 2 years ago & made the mistake of giving my twin sister another chance. She was the ONLY 1. The foster mom never allowed me to be happy. If I talk about something positive, the foster mom would make threats to knock all my teeth out & say that everything I like is a part of my OCD. My twin sister does the same thing. Yet, she says she wants to beat the foster mom up for molding me to be "crazy". But my twin sister should beat herself up.
Also, I had 2 strokes @ age 5, eye surgery @ age 5, nose surgery @ ages 10 & 11. Heart murmur @ age 2. Also @ age 2, I had an ear infection so bad I almost died.
I was a foster child force drugged from kindergarten on up, & I have to be FORCED to be a slave to psychiatry for the rest of my life!
This is preparing us for the New World Order. This is TYRANNY!
Being abused in foster care, I was robbed of my childhood. Now, I only know how to be a big kid.
My former foster mom & foster stepdad got the foster parent of the year award, too. Even though they were abusive!
When I was 3 years old, the foster mom used to make me stand on my knees & eat soggy cereal out the garbage if I wasted it/threw it in the garbage. She didn't care if I had to sit there ALL day, like 6 hrs. She didn't care if the milk was spoiled by the hot sun. 'Til this day, I still have trouble swallowing soft foods. I gag on them.
Also, the foster mom used to CONSTANTLY tell us how society doesn't care about us.
1 of her biological cousins' daughter, who she adopted, went to visit her home, & the foster mom refused to look her in the eye, & also, she said the foster mom couldn't even get her name right when she mentioned her name. Why so much HATE? Also, this is the same adopted daughter who, the foster mom had the adopted daughter's house in HER (the adopted daughter's) name, but the foster mom illegally STOLE control of her property, & the foster mom stopped paying property taxes on the house, & so now, the foster mom's adopted daughter is being sued. She (the adopted daughter) didn't even know the house was in her name.
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So, who's the REAL scammer, fraud & extortionist, here?
Excuse me if I already posted this already. I probably did.