I Wish I Could've Written & Published A Cookbook!

I wish I would've known then, what I know now. I keep thinking back on when I was living back in my hometown New Orleans in 2017 & 2018, before I became homeless once again. I'm a New Orleans native, & because of that, outsiders automatically falsely assume that EVERYONE from New Orleans is a good cook. Not the case. Even people from New Orleans sometimes go to culinary school, just like professional singers still take vocal lessons. I never went to culinary school, but I'm pretty sure I've taken a cooking class at the library a time or 2. I can cook, but I can't THROW DOWN! I've never in my life made actual file' gumbo. Never even tried. I've cooked jambalaya from the Zatarain's box, but I never made it from scratch. I can't tell you how to make remoulade. Funny how I never heard of remoulade until 2017 or 2018. I don't even know how to pronounce it! 🤦‍♀️🥺 I've tried it before in recent years at restaurants. I forgot what it tastes like. 

Due to me being homeless off & on throughout the years, whenever I finally get stabilized housing, I always have to rehabilitate. Relearn how to cook all over again. Microwaving in these motels/hotels don't count. I'm talking about some REAL cooking on the stove & baking in the oven. The last time I was able do some REAL cooking was at a motel in July 2020. I long for to get to do my own cooking again. 

I heard that microwaves aren't healthy for you, & that they keep people obese. Eating irradiated food. I heard that it's bad to just have a microwave plugged in. I have no choice but to heat food in the microwave, due to my living circumstance. I thought about experimenting with some microwave recipes & making a microwave cookbook, but I didn't get to follow through with it. I've been living off of a lot of canned & packaged food lately. Some foods are premade, & all I have to do is just warm it up. Due to uncertainty with staying in this motel week to week (because of the gang stalking & struggle with finances), & the motel room being so small, I don't have enough space or money to buy a crockpot to experiment with & do a crockpot recipe cookbook. I've been seeing people talking about air fryers lately. Air fryers is the hot trend now. I never used one. I would love to even do some toaster oven or juice/smoothie recipes, but can't afford the equipment. 

I've always loved to cook & bake since I was a kid. I think the 1st thing I learned how to cook was ramen noodles on the stove. I did it myself. I was only 6 or 7 years old. I remember when I thought it was "cooking" when I was 4, 5 & 6 years old, making peanut butter & jelly sandwiches or bologna sandwiches! 🤣😔

I don't remember how old I was when I 1st started baking. I'm going to set aside my talk, in this specific blog post, about abusive experiences & fights over food that I've experienced in foster care, that was associated with me cooking & baking. It would take me all night. All I know is that, people call me "fat" & "greedy" about food, but I'm from New Orleans! It's in my blood. They don't take that into consideration. I'm no longer a glutton, like I used to be. I spiritually didn't know any better. Plus, I was doped up on those psych meds. There are skinny people in New Orleans who love food, especially seafood. It's our culture! I personally always felt like the seafood was overrated. (Don't slap me!) & I never did like spicy food. I still hate it. As a toddler, the foster family would feed me spicy Popeyes chicken, & I used to cry. I've never been that big on spicy food. I even hate spicy crawfish. I like it mild, with good flavor. 

Strange, how narcissistic gang stalkers call me "greedy", but little do they know, is that I'm VERY picky with food. Plenty of food that I don't like! You want me to name them? I'll name only a few. I hate chitterlings, papaya, kohlrabi, raw & stewed tomatoes & wheat bread. That's 5. I have plenty more foods that I don't like. I used to hate onions, bananas & okra. Now, I love them! I still don't like onions on my burger, but I'll eat them in a taco or a fajita. 

I used to want to make & sell pralines, cold cups (huck a bucks), pound cakes, sweet potato pies, etc., like some people in New Orleans would make & sell. The narcissistic control freak fake government won't even allow you to sell lemonade! Self-reliance, self-sufficiency & independence from Luciferian government are considered illegal in the NWO. Even harder when you're homeless. The government pretends to fake "care" about health & safety, when they just want CONTROL, just how a narc operates. They don't care about having your best interest at heart. I think, if more small businesses were allowed & not all these corporations, then less people would be homeless. I guarantee you! & it would also help if jealous, greedy narcs, who worship competition, wouldn't smear campaign another person to halt that person's sales because you want all the shine for yourself. 

In 2007, I heard about Social Security's PASS program or something like that. Nobody wanted to help me. I was living in Denton, TX. I didn't know that I was a Targeted Individual back then. Due to me being a TI, my business would've been sure to fail. & then the perps would gaslight & scapegoat, blaming it on the idea, "You don't know how to do business", when in fact, they probably would've smear campaigned me to all of my customers, & then I'm pretty sure that I would've been in a boatload of even MORE debt! 

With the PASS program, Social Security was supposed to help set aside some of the SSA recipient's SSI check to save for a business to start. I remember asking for help on Yahoo! Answers, & user "Chiliswoman" was rude to me & made me cry. The Social Security office didn't want to help me. I think I heard that the PASS program is done away with, last I heard. But I could be wrong. I wanted to open up a restaurant, specializing in soups, casseroles & desserts. After learning the truth about natural health, I would've desired to change recipes & ingredients. 

I remember when the biological family members went NUTS (in a good way)over a casserole I made in 2004 or 2005. They couldn't stop raving on about it. It involved imitation crab meat & pasta. That's all I remember. 

In 2006, when I did work study @ UNO, just before I graduated, everyone was crazy over that tuna soup recipe that I made. I don't remember what the ingredients were, but I remember how good it tasted. I remember that it contained canned lobster bisque & canned tuna. To me, it tasted kind of weird. Lol

In New York, at that mental health shelter in 2006, everyone went crazy over my pralines that I made.

In 2013 in Los Angeles, with those gardening classes that I took, we brought homemade food, & due to the gang stalking, people treated my food like it was diseased & didn't wanna touch it, like how I was treated at the fake Hell's Way "church" potlucks. I asked the instructor (who was a narcissistic, mean perp who hated my guts & was always short fused with me for no reason), Mrs. Dana Morgan, she didn't want to try this barley flour bread that I made. She got annoyed with me when I asked her to try it, but she tried everybody else's food, but singled me out. When she finally tried my bread, she thought it was SO good that she almost INSTANTLY fell to her knees, weak!

In 2016 or 2017, I made a crockpot soup. & guess what. I don't remember what kind of soup it was, or what the ingredients were. All I remember was that it was made in a crockpot, & that everyone in that fake (full of narcissistic gang stalkers) homeless support group at Triune Mercy Center in Greenville, South Carolina loved it! They couldn't stop raving on about that. So, see? That gives me some courage.

Living in Los Angeles, I ate out a lot, but I also did a lot of cooking. I didn't much have a smartphone because I couldn't afford one. I used to practice cooking & baking & writing down recipes. I may still have a few recipes somewhere in my storage unit. 

I now think about how, if I would've known that ANYONE could self-publish an Amazon Kindle ebook, then I would've had cookbooks, fiction & nonfiction ebooks GALORE! Some of them would've been ungodly (because I wasn't a Christian yet). The ungodly fiction ebooks that I would've published, I probably would've had to quit selling them & also unpublish them. I would've also had more shame to add to my list of past sins. As you know, the gang stalkers try to silence my voice with anything I try to accomplish. 

I probably could've gotten to own a restaurant (or at least a food truck) & write & publish a cookbook. I now see all these YouTube cooking channels & feel bad because I didn't know that I could've monetized a channel & did cooking & baking videos in 2017 & 2018, before I became homeless. I probably could've done grocery hauls & farmers market hauls, showing off what I bought for the ingredients to a new recipe. Or, I could've had a cooking blog. 

I also think now, (since I'm a foodie. Hey, they got skinny foodies, too. Just ask some of these celebrities around here! Tahj Mowry used to talk all the time about himself being a foodie. He used to say, "Y'all know I'm a foodie, right?" & he used to eat a lot of food & stay skinny. But he would also work out.) I think about how I could've done either a YouTube channel or a blog about trying out different foods at certain restaurants & doing reviews. But the psychopathic perps make sure to halt anything I try to accomplish. 

I've heard about how some homeless people have monetized blogs &/or YouTube videos & were able to get out of their homeless situation that way. Because they're NOT targeted individuals! Nobody's censoring them. The perps make sure that my YouTube channel or blog can't grow! Even if I were to do a specific niche on restaurant food reviews or my own cooking. Even if I refrained from talking about gang stalking. If I were to have my own permanent place to live, the gang stalking fake, crusty dirty neighbors would deliberately create a noise harassment campaign every time I were to try to do a cooking video. Plus, if it were a Livestream, I would get the online harassment, like I do. My YouTube subscribers would've thought I was paranoid or crazy. & then I would've lost support.

These perps delusionally believe that they own us targeted individuals as "slaves". I fight for my rights & freedom! I could've BEEN out of my homeless situation! Or I wouldn't have had to be homeless or unemployed in the first place, if it weren't for this fake, Satanic Gang Stalking! I could've had a successful restaurant with support, a blog &/or a YouTube channel about cooking & writing. Some people would say that my lack of success with cooking, writing, traveling, etc. is a blessing in disguise, because I still have my soul. I never sold out or took a bribe/deal.