Why I don't feel "chosen". You see? You hear about "chosen ones" or "true Christians" being described as:
-set apart
-a peculiar people
-sanctified
-pariah/outcast/scapegoat
-144,000 (which I never agreed with)
-even targeted individuals...
& many others.
Remember how I would talk about how people love bombing me & telling me that I'm a "true Child of God", a "beautiful soul", "full of light", "possessing a radiant glow", "chosen", etc? How do they go from that, & then once they get to know me, they go to telling me that I'm a divisive, trouble-making drama queen who's too negative, energy-draining & complain too much? & that I make people not want to be around me? Especially when I "throw them under the bus" for being a narcissistic control freak fake friend or a narcissistic control freak fake TI perp. Then, they have a narrative & opinion switch. Now, I'm a "tare amongst the wheat", "a wolf in sheep's clothing", "not who you think I am", etc. Like as if I'm a "counterfeit" chosen one. They try to make me out to be the reprobate sociopath. But guess what. I googled "reprobate sociopath", & GANG STALKING came up as 1 of the search results. (Sorry if I already said this in another blog post.)
Take a look at this website.
https://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/
The way I get treated by society, like as if everything I do or say is bad or wrong, (even by other people who say that they're Christians), makes me not feel so chosen. I'm made to feel like as if I committed such an ATROCIOUS sin, that I must deserve to be cut off from society, like the Old Testament Israelites. It's the opposite. Old Testament sinners are cut off from society, & New Testament Christians are cut off from society for standing up for what's right, yet being FALSELY ACCUSED of "wrongdoing". No concrete proof or evidence, but just a bunch of fake "eyewitnesses". Just gossip, slander & hearsay. & I'm forbidden (not allowed) to prove my innocence against such lies. They can have their lies about me to live on forever, like legendary!
The perp Star Bricker already has declared that I'm "irredeemable". She doesn't get to make that decision. Only God does! But she'll have a retarded narcissistic over exaggerated fake conniption "meltdown" whenever I say that ALL OF these perps need to go fry in hell.
People say that society shuns my existence because of having "light", "glow" & a "beautiful soul". But the moment they betray me, their ENTIRE narrative does a 180 degree polar shift. To the point where they intentionally brainwash THEMSELVES to think that I'm a long grocery list of bad things. Even other people who say that they're Christian Targeted Individuals make it like they have to spiritually protect themselves from ME, when they were the ones who betrayed me. & then they start perping & abusing me. I talk about this all the time.
Everything I do or say is wrong, & inappropriate, unacceptable "behavior". People are are always offended at my every word, move & breath. My simple existence! How am I "chosen" if I won't be remembered positively when I die? The only things I will be remembered by is the slander campaigns against me, in which people will have ZERO respect for me.
But I had to remind myself that, it's better for me (or anyone else) to have little to no people come to my funeral & me go to heaven, than for me to have 50 million people praising me, & yet I still end up in hell. I would feel SO bad for myself to be hated on this Earth & denied happiness & the right to live, with all of this suffering & misery & then STILL end up going to hell when I die! I never professed to be perfect or without flaw. I don't feel chosen by God because I know that if I died right now, I would go to hell. I'm not worthy or deserving of heaven. I admit that I'm not spiritually squeaky clean. I don't even want to psych myself up or delude myself, like a bunch of those religious narcs out there, to believe that it's doubtless that I will enter heaven. & then, I'm not "holy enough" for the Body of Christ. The Christian community. Many American Christians are fake, anyway!
People are not God, but they like to think they are. Society punishes & hates me, like as if EVERYONE is "God" to issue out punishments & condemnation on me. Like as if I blasphemed the Holy Spirit. A fake hypo-Christian religious gang stalking narc former next door neighbor in Los Angeles used to tell me, "Lemme tell you something! These people don't have a heaven or a hell to put you in! Why do you care what they think?" But yet, she acted like she had the power & authority to send me to hell. She was a perp.
I can't believe that I must be that "important" enough that people are willing to sell their souls behind little ol' ME! I'm nobody. But they pretend & front like I'm being ignored because I'm NOT "important", yet they're taking notes on my EVERY move!
This YouTube channel right here inspired me to write this blog post.
https://youtube.com/channel/UCXkaj6llkz7bb95YasYQIFg
1 of my favorite YouTube channels. The only couple of things I don't like, is that he subtly talks a little New Age (maybe he's not aware of that) in some of his videos & promotes Sacred Name, because of my traumatic experiences with the fake IDMR (Masonic New Age Sacred Name Cult) cult. But his videos are helping me learn myself better & heal immensely!
It feels like a lot of his videos are talking DIRECTLY to me, especially this video from this morning.
https://youtu.be/3JW6--HBo1A
Thank you for allowing me to have a voice on your platform. I basically don't have anywhere else where I can voice my experiences & get supportive feedback.
_________________________________________________
For a brief moment, I "thought" I was getting some healing from this channel. I kept quiet about this for a while. I thought I was feeling like I was getting some "healing" through the Livestream chats from the "Rebounding from Narcissistic Abuse"
https://youtube.com/channel/UCKGR01SrkGUWEVEemKH8C-w
guy until I noticed that he started singling me out in the Livestreams. How do you talk about being singled out, but then you gaslight & single me out, & I haven't done you anything offensive? What a hypocrite! He's what got me beginning to say, "I'm even the outcast amongst a group of outcasts". You know how it is. Even in the TI community, I'm so outcasted that I'm not "deserving" of any friends. I'm not even going to go into detail about the way he treated me the last time! Maybe another time I will elaborate. He professes to be "Christian" but is coercive & pushy with New Age, & he stubbornly ignores Christians admonishing him against New Age. Maybe it wasn't meant. But I figured that I would go on his Livestream chats for emotional support about narcissistic abuse since my twin sister & her devout cult followers smeared me in the narcissistic abuse victim healing support groups on Quora, bullied me & ran me off. Everyone who had their "Surviving Narcissistic Abuse" Quora groups had me blocked. I saw my twin sister's fake "warning" against me on there. She has many people fooled, but she'll lie & say the opposite about me. That "I" have everyone fooled! She's the narc, pretending to be a hurt "victim", when it's the reverse.
(Well, I WAS going to keep this version private, but change of plans!) See why in the next post, which is edited. I called myself, trying to keep down confusion, & the guy I was complimenting in both this post & the next post took me the wrong way. The perps got to him REALLY quick!
Edited: To keep down "drama" & "confusion". I'm not allowed to name names, or else I'll be that "divisive trouble-making drama queen", & "sowing discord amongst the brethren 🙄 - Yeah, Satan's fake "brethren", & "throwing people under the bus".
Why I don't feel "chosen". You see? You hear about "chosen ones" or "true Christians" being described as:
-set apart
-a peculiar people
-sanctified
-pariah/outcast/scapegoat
-144,000 (which I never agreed with)
-even targeted individuals...
& many others.
Remember how I would talk about how people love bombing me & telling me that I'm a "true Child of God", a "beautiful soul", "full of light", "possessing a radiant glow", "chosen", etc? How do they go from that, & then once they get to know me, they go to telling me that I'm a divisive, trouble-making drama queen who's too negative, energy-draining & complain too much? & that I make people not want to be around me? Especially when I "throw them under the bus" for being a narcissistic control freak fake friend or a narcissistic control freak fake TI perp. Then, they have a narrative & opinion switch. Now, I'm a "tare amongst the wheat", "a wolf in sheep's clothing", "not who you think I am", etc. Like as if I'm a "counterfeit" chosen one. They try to make me out to be the reprobate sociopath. But guess what. I googled "reprobate sociopath", & GANG STALKING came up as 1 of the search results. (Sorry if I already said this in another blog post.)
Take a look at this website.
https://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/
The way I get treated by society, like as if everything I do or say is bad or wrong, (even by other people who say that they're Christians), makes me not feel so chosen. I'm made to feel like as if I committed such an ATROCIOUS sin, that I must deserve to be cut off from society, like the Old Testament Israelites. It's the opposite. Old Testament sinners are cut off from society, & New Testament Christians are cut off from society for standing up for what's right, yet being FALSELY ACCUSED of "wrongdoing". No concrete proof or evidence, but just a bunch of fake "eyewitnesses". Just gossip, slander & hearsay. & I'm forbidden (not allowed) to prove my innocence against such lies. They can have their lies about me to live on forever, like legendary!
1 of the online perps already has declared that I'm "irredeemable". (She knows who she is. The perp from Ft. Wayne, Indiana.) She doesn't get to make that decision. Only God does! But she'll have a retarded narcissistic over exaggerated fake conniption "meltdown" whenever I say that ALL OF these perps need to go fry in hell.
People say that society shuns my existence because of having "light", "glow" & a "beautiful soul". But the moment they betray me, their ENTIRE narrative does a 180 degree polar shift. To the point where they intentionally brainwash THEMSELVES to think that I'm a long grocery list of bad things. Even other people who say that they're Christian Targeted Individuals make it like they have to spiritually protect themselves from ME, when they were the ones who betrayed me. & then they start perping & abusing me. I talk about this all the time.
Everything I do or say is wrong, & inappropriate, unacceptable "behavior". People are are always offended at my every word, move & breath. My simple existence! How am I "chosen" if I won't be remembered positively when I die? The only things I will be remembered by is the slander campaigns against me, in which people will have ZERO respect for me.
But I had to remind myself that, it's better for me (or anyone else) to have little to no people come to my funeral & me go to heaven, than for me to have 50 million people praising me, & yet I still end up in hell. I would feel SO bad for myself to be hated on this Earth & denied happiness & the right to live, with all of this suffering & misery & then STILL end up going to hell when I die! I never professed to be perfect or without flaw. I don't feel chosen by God because I know that if I died right now, I would go to hell. I'm not worthy or deserving of heaven. I admit that I'm not spiritually squeaky clean. I don't even want to psych myself up or delude myself, like a bunch of those religious narcs out there, to believe that it's doubtless that I will enter heaven. & then, I'm not "holy enough" for the Body of Christ. The Christian community. Many American Christians are fake, anyway!
People are not God, but they like to think they are. Society punishes & hates me, like as if EVERYONE is "God" to issue out punishments & condemnation on me. Like as if I blasphemed the Holy Spirit. A fake hypo-Christian religious gang stalking narc former next door neighbor in Los Angeles used to tell me, "Lemme tell you something! These people don't have a heaven or a hell to put you in! Why do you care what they think?" But yet, she acted like she had the power & authority to send me to hell. She was a perp.
I can't believe that I must be that "important" enough that people are willing to sell their souls behind little ol' ME! I'm nobody. But they pretend & front like I'm being ignored because I'm NOT "important", yet they're taking notes on my EVERY move!
This YouTube channel right here inspired me to write this blog post.
https://youtube.com/channel/UCXkaj6llkz7bb95YasYQIFg
1 of my favorite YouTube channels. His videos are helping me learn myself better & heal immensely!
It feels like a lot of his videos are talking DIRECTLY to me, especially this video from this morning.
https://youtu.be/3JW6--HBo1A
Thank you for allowing me to have a voice on your platform. I basically don't have anywhere else where I can voice my experiences & get supportive feedback.
Update: I wasted ALL that time, thinking & planning for over a week, to write this blog post. & The guy I just mentioned, his name is Bruce Griffin. I was supporting his channel. The perps must've smear campaigned me REALLY quick! I didn't say anything bad about him at all. I copied & pasted this post on my MAIN Targeted by the Psych World channel, & he tried to tell me off about myself, falsely accusing me of talking bad about people I don't know. Too many fakes, calling themselves real. I don't know what's going on. I'm about to do a video about him. I'm on the verge of tears. This ruined my day! He tries to talk like he's "saved" but he just cowardly came on his alternate YouTube channel with no videos to try to cuss me out. I'm confused. I'm about to do a video & then link it here. Maybe he took my post the wrong way.
Another Update:
Here's the video.
https://youtu.be/DsxGahUmNpY
_________________________________________________
For a brief moment, I "thought" I was getting some healing from this other guy's channel. I kept quiet about this for a while. If I'm such a "bother", then that's why I blocked him, & he ain't gotta worry about me no' mo'! I thought I was feeling like I was getting some "healing" through the Livestream chats from his YouTube channel until I noticed that he started singling me out in the Livestreams. How do you talk about being singled out, but then you gaslight & single ME out, & I haven't done you anything offensive? What a hypocrite! He's what got me beginning to say, "I'm even the outcast amongst a group of outcasts". You know how it is. Even in the TI community, I'm so outcasted that I'm not "deserving" of any friends. I'm not even going to go into detail about the way he treated me the last time! Maybe another time I will elaborate. He professes to be "Christian" but is coercive & pushy with New Age, & he stubbornly ignores Christians admonishing him against New Age. Maybe it wasn't meant. But I figured that I would go on his Livestream chats for emotional support about narcissistic abuse since I was smear campaigned & bullied in the narcissistic abuse victim healing support groups on Quora, & run off. Everyone who had their "Surviving Narcissistic Abuse" Quora groups had me blocked.