Timberwood: Short Stories Edition Vol. 18
Title: "Operation Rescue Myron"
Myron: (Calls Kristina on the phone). May I speak to Kristina?
Kristina: Yes. This is Kristina. Who am I speaking with?
Myron: Yo! This is Myron Thompson. Check this out. I need your help. I saw your YouTube videos exposing the truth. I thank God for leading me to your channel.
Kristina: You're welcome, sweetie. I know I took a big risk, publicizing my phone number, but the Gang Stalkers already have my information.
Myron: Thank you for putting your life on the line. You're a hero! Thank you for being so selfless.
Kristina: It's my pleasure.
Myron: Listen. These folks are out here, trying to kill me.
Kristina: (sighs) Welcome to the Targeted Individual lifestyle. It seems to happen to a lot of us who leave cults, unfortunately. They've tried to kill me & my children several times, as well. I've been in your shoes.
Let me put you in contact with Mr. Buddy. He's the 1 who helps rescue people who sincerely want to leave.
(Phone hangs up.)
Myron: Mr. Buddy. I was referred to you by a woman, named Kristina. I saw a YouTube video of her telling people step by step how to get out of Timberwood. She gave me your number & told me to call you.
Mr. Buddy: Where are you located? It depends. Maybe I can fly you out of wherever you are.
Myron: I'm on the Southside of Chicago.
Mr. Buddy: Ok. You're not too far from me. Let me see how much funds I have.
(Mr. Buddy became agitated because he discovered that Timberwood hacked into his bank account, & his balance was the EXACT negative balance of what he last saw. He thought that he could escape from their financial control if he got his own bank account with a different bank. He tried to call the bank, & his calls kept getting re-routed.)
Mr. Buddy: Myron, I apologize for the inconvenience. Timberwood overdrafted my bank account without my authorization. This should be illegal! This is some BS because, how were they able to override my account's overdraft protection?
Myron: Aww, snap!
Mr. Buddy. I'll have to use my credit card to rent a car to come & get you since my van is in the shop. They're giving me the runaround like a hamster on a wheel. Stay put.
(Mr. Buddy logged into the Hertz website to reserve a car, only to find out that his credit card was maxed out by those same fake, retarded Timberwood cult thugs. He got angry & started throwing chairs around the house, cursing from A to Z & then impulsively pulled a large chunk of his hair out. Now, his scalp is bleeding. In a panic, he ran out of his bedroom, tripped over his laptop, fell to the floor & then busted his head on a glass jar that fell off of his bedroom desk just before he fell. He was in the house alone & had nobody to help him. He was knocked out.
Shortly after, Tony Henson, a trusted housemate, unlocked the door & nearly had a heart attack from what he discovered.)
911 Dispatcher: Cooke County Emergency. How may I help you?
Tony: (Sobbing hysterically & talking unintelligibly) I think my roommate is dead! I think he's dead!
911: Does he have a pulse?
Tony: I don't know! I don't know!
911 Dispatcher: Stay still. Help is on the way.
(Turns out that Mr. Buddy didn't die. He was just knocked out. He finally recovered. Myron was SO angry because he mistakenly assumed that Mr. Buddy stood him up. Myron didn't know what happened. Tony perused Mr. Buddy's phone & saw the text messages exchanged between Mr. Buddy & Myron. Mr. Buddy got his head stapled & bandaged. He didn't want to follow the doctor's orders to stay home & rest. He was DETERMINED to continue on with his mission to rescue Myron. Tony was able to rent a car to pick up Myron. By the time they pulled up to Myron's apartment in the projects, they saw Myron in the act of being taken out of his home in a body bag. It was a sad day. They tried all they could.)
THE END