Open Talk Journal 04/18/2022

Hello, everyone. It's 8:30 PM EXACT! Well, Twitter wrongfully suspended me for 12 hours & didn't tell me what I did or said wrong. Ruined my day. I might as well journal on here, to pass the time. I feel like I don't want to bombard my YouTube subscribers with too many videos today. I don't know if I ended up in Twitter jail for retweeting too much in a short period of time. We'll see. I'll do an update blog post on why my Twitter account was suspended for 12 hours. Hopefully, it got suspended for me telling the truth about something. 

1 Peter Chapter 4

12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

14 If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.

1 Peter 3:17
“For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.”

King James Version (KJV)

It feels like the day is going by SLOW! I also feel bad about committing a couple of sins today. 1 of them, I haven't committed in over 4 months. I'm emotionally beating myself up about it. Even after praying to God & asking for forgiveness & asking for the strength to not commit those sins anymore, I still feel bad. It's only for God to judge, condemn & punish. Not these Luciferian narcissistic perps! 

At least God is merciful & forgiving. The perps would taunt & harass you until you die. They're going to try to play guessing games & make false assumptions. Trying to "guess" which sins I committed. They'll use that to further their smear campaigns. Making it like I committed the VILEST sin! They wouldn't even know if I feel ashamed about relapsing with listening to secular music. They'll just automatically assume that I must've done something worse or broke the law or something. Looking for a reason to try to falsely incriminate me. 

Speaking of these Luciferian narcissistic perps, how can they judge or condemn me for right or wrong, when they're given over to a reprobate mind, & have a seared conscience? That's how you know that, whatever evil that they do, they know EXACTLY what they're doing! How can you falsely accuse me of breaking rules & laws, yet you're an abusive person? If you say, "You cannot collect money fraudulently!", & then make threats to find out where I live at & bash my head into concrete & making death threats at me, when I didn't even do anything worthy to deserve your hatred. 

Another thing that has been bothering me, is that people who say that they're Christian Targeted Individuals fighting against the New World Order even believe the slander campaigns against me, when they ought to know better. & they can't discern when a Targeted Individual has flipped & become a perp. They're too blinded to see that the fake TI perp is perping me in their videos after I exposed him/her.

My anxiety is REALLY high right now. Midnight can't come fast enough. It's 8:50 right now. I'm not even sleepy right now. I was sleep deprived & didn't get to successfully take a nap. Randomly, out of nowhere, I just piled on 6 non-fiction journal writing assignments for myself when I woke up this morning (Why did I set out to mentally torture myself like that?), & I'm in the middle of working on a fiction short story that I started on Friday. I could take 4 of my 6 writing assignments & put them in 1 blog post. That would be long enough to be a whole BOOK! But I heard about people's attention spans being short, so that's why I'm breaking them up & dividing them. I'm too sleep deprived to think clearly. Maybe, working on those assignments will help time go by faster. I guess, it would be midnight before I know it.

I need to clean up & organize. I don't know if I will be back on the streets by Friday. It's scary to hardly have anyone to help me. I'm surprised that anyone has any compassion & humanity, & still believe that I'm a real TI. I'm thankful & glad that I had help this past Friday with the $365 to stay here + someone donated me $30 & encouraged me to get Texas Roadhouse. Since I'm not close by, & I'm wrongfully banned from riding the buses & have to take the Uber everywhere, I just ordered Applebee's on DoorDash. The DoorDash driver was a perp. I didn't catch on at first. I was blinded. 

I've been angered & discouraged about increasing gnats in this motel room. Makes me not want to stay in here anymore, but I need a roof over my head. I don't know if the gnats were carried over from the previous motel. The gnats are the reason why my laptop is messed up. If it weren't for me having to prove my online harassment, then my laptop could've stayed in my storage unit, & it wouldn't be in this predicament. I'm SO mad! & I don't have the money for a new laptop or a way to retrieve the files from this laptop. I pray that there's still some hope. Water damage from me having to constantly spray 70% rubbing alcohol because the gnats kept trying to crawl inside of my computer screen. That's all I can do, for now, is just spray them with alcohol & kill them.

I get uncomfortable easily with it being too cold in here with the air conditioner. It looks like, that might be what I have to do to keep the gnats down. I hardly have money for food. I'm very low on food. I have apple cider vinegar, but I can't access cooking oil to make a fly trap. Also, they have gnats coming from outside. The gnats & fleas attack me whenever I stand outside. The fleas come from the motel neighbors' dogs. The gnats try to hover over my motel room door from outside, trying to get in.

I'm too mentally & physically weak & exhausted to get the strength to clean & organize. I know it must be done. I feel bad to be a burden. I'm going to have to prepare to pack up in advance to go back & live on the streets. People don't have a problem donating to YouTubers who have a CashApp for reporting celebrity gossip. They're taken care of! 

As far as Targeted Individuals go, the TI community didn't have a problem with Michael Barden having 2 trucks donated & help with a house. (This is what I heard.) What does he need 2 trucks for? I heard that he was a single dad with 2 daughters. People worship him for being a "patriot" & a military vet. It's OK for him to receive donations. He's 1 of the popular fakes. He was also rude towards me & ignored me one time. Nobody calls him a scammer or a fraud! Someone did a YouTube video exposing Michael Barden & Ochu 1981 as reptilians. I also heard that James Harken sold out, too. & he got a shit load of money for his GoFundMe! See how society would be quicker to help save an able-bodied MAN from homelessness, but not a disabled female? The gang stalkers won't allow me to make a living. I need all the help I could get, to stay off the streets.

Maybe I'll start cleaning & organizing tomorrow.