Hopefully, an end can be put to my panhandling & begging. I really don't feel comfortable, going to live with anyone. I've been through so much hurt, & then got blamed for it.
Someone is showing me signs that I think she may be a fake hypo-Christian narcissistic control freak fake friend & a possible fake TI perp. My gut may be right. It may be wrong. People always say, "Trust your gut". & they say that trusting your gut is the Holy Spirit trying to warn you. But I don't want to not believe or discredit anyone, if they're REALLY going through this targeting because I know how it feels. A couple of people tried to discredit me, calling me a fake TI this past week. I'm not trying to doubt her as a real TI, because I understand that some TI's, especially women, may not feel comfortable showing their targeting. I'm just questioning some things.
I feel kind of awkward & uncomfortable about her viewpoints of the Bible & Christianity. Some things about her makes me think of that illuminati lady Melinda from the fake Hell's Way church, that lady Ronda from Marquette hostel in New Orleans & also a little bit of Lisa Ruby. I hope she's a real TI, & not an exploitative fake hypo-Christian narcissistic control freak fake TI perp, using real TI's as narcissistic supply. I hope & pray that she's genuine. I don't want to have my money wasted, to go & live with her, & then have to pack up & come back to Pensacola to live on the streets broke & low on money, within 4 days. I perceive that she might be that narcissistic control freak fake friend that might try to "fix" or "rearrange" me. I hope she wasn't sent in my life to try to be my "handler". She even said Friday night, that it's no accident that God put her in my life. I hate when fake hypo-Christians say that! She also was acting like a weird perp, when I was trying to tell her a problem I was going through. She acted like she was listening, but I don't know if she was gathering Intel. She acted a bit like Ashley Burkes. She recently started doing videos, talking about narcissistic abuse. She talks about karma. Karma is occult/New Age talk. I hate to say it, but she looks like a creepy witch. When I first saw a YouTube video of her showing her face, I felt something troubling my spirit. I don't know why. She might be alright & just a normal person. I hope I'm not gaslighting myself. I'm trying to give her a chance & give her the benefit of the doubt.
I don't trust going to live with anyone because of hearing about how fake TI perps or regular perps lure a homeless TI into human trafficking & bait them in, giving them false offers, hopes & promises of free housing, & then the TI either disappears or gets murdered. It was the other way around, with Lisa TI. Lisa TI (transgender) opened his home to other TI's. Even offered me to go & stay with him. I was afraid & declined, because of fake TI perps making me offers around that same time + some other personal reasons. Well, turns out that Lisa was the real TI offering his home to others, & a perp pretended to be a TI & some kind of way set him up to be murdered. That had me shook, because I probably would've been dead, too. I feel really bad because me being there probably could've saved his life, & he probably would still be here with us today.
People get mad at me for refusing offers to come & love with others. Ain't no stranger gon' have you come & live out of state with them for free! They use "free" to bait you in. Let me tell you a TRUE personal experience that happened to me, locally, in Gulf Breeze. I think it was November or December in 2019. A druggie narcissistic control freak fake hypo-Christian TI perp, named Tanya White. Here's her YouTube channel.
https://youtube.com/channel/UCEi094sZY14MJZTE3pwWuFg
She's NOT a real TI! She promotes that fake New Age 777. This is what she did to me. She sent for me to come to Gulf Breeze. She acted secretive & weird. She kept yelling at me & getting an attitude with me when I was asking her for directions (the biological gay brother Mark & the biological sister, that retard Ramona would do the same thing). I got lost, & she got mad at me & insulted me for getting lost. Come to find out, she was living in a camper RV that she said didn't belong to her. She tried to lock me up in her camper for about 2 hours, & then I protested to get the fuck on out of there! It was raining cats & dogs. I didn't care! The weather was really bad. She also tried to give me disgusting food that I don't eat. She had all these Bible scriptures on her walls. That was a scary moment. I don't know what kind of drugs she was using. Very traumatizing.
Now, I'm hearing about Cliff Few being missing for almost 3 months. I don't know all the details. He was supposed to go stay by another TI also.
This live tweet video disturbingly traumatized me. I didn't realize that he was going through it that bad.
Cliff Few (@few_cliff) Tweeted:
https://t.co/ff4HSU3X9K
https://twitter.com/few_cliff/status/1489440800694018053?s=20&t=v68S0MgsMDC9MFYLzbLjhQ
Alicia (I'm withholding her last name, in case she might still be alive) has gone missing as well. She wanted to remain anonymous & private. She warned me that her family was trying to sacrifice her. She told me that she didn't have long to live, & that they poisoned her blood. I only had 3 conversations with her. I still haven't heard from her since.
On this person's YouTube channel (the person I'm supposed to go stay by), she has a few videos, but none of them actually show enough concrete proof or footage of gang stalking. She has a couple of videos where she'll just post up a picture of someone who she says is a perp & then do a commentary.
She doesn't have footage like this.
https://youtu.be/BAwbnjLtToc
& this
https://youtube.com/shorts/72RnfYYCtww?feature=share
She once told me, "Candy you have support 🥰. You aren’t alone in this. There are a lot of us going through it, but remember, we reap what we sow. The perps will get theirs if they already aren’t getting theirs and more :). Try to remember that God is in control, so we are good. I stopped reacting to the perps and it’s funny to see them get frustrated."
I got a little triggered because in 2020, too many fake TI perps would tell me, "Ignore & don't react". Maybe she didn't mean any harm, with her comment.
I told her, "Thank you. But it's difficult to ignore torture & assault, even if they're not putting their hands on you."
Then, she said, "Candy Grandpre You gotta try. They are targeting you because you are strong. They are societies weakest links and they know it. That’s why they have to move in groups and stop what they are doing when they are being recorded.".
I cannot ignore unbearable torture. I've had narcissistic control freak fake hypo-Christian TI perps, like Tory Birdsong, tell me to just ignore the excruciating vibrating & ignore my gang stalking.
I don't like that this person is younger than me, & addresses me as "girl". I told her over the phone a couple of times, + I've said it in numerous videos that I don't like that. I had a problem with the narcissistic control freak fake TI perp, Toni H calling me, "girl". Anyone who's younger than me & addresses me as "girl", each & EVERY time, they are narcissistic abusers who think they can try to discipline & handle me. No one should be addressing me as "girl", & I'm 38 years old! I'm NOT a fucking child! I don't care HOW you perceive of me to act! I'm disabled & have been abused & traumatized in foster care & a cult! You address me as "girl", & you're younger than me, then we're NOT going to get along! People older than me don't even address me as "girl", lecture me like a little child or try to discipline me like a child! Unless they're a narcissistic abuser.
But anyway, I hope I wouldn't have a bad experience, if I end up with dealing with this person. She donated me $280 in total. She seems like she wants to help me. I hope she isn't a narcissist who's trying to love bomb me. She even told me that she thinks I'm a chosen one & that I have a pure soul. (Religious narcs usually tell me that during the love bombing stage, & then after the devaluation & discard, I get treated like I'm more disgusting than Satan, himself. We'll see. Remember me telling y'all about that narrative change?) She wants me to come live with her. I never lived with another TI before. I'm not sure if she's real or fake.
I understand that you can have a red car & not be a perp. I'm feeling scared because this person told me that she agrees with psychiatry. I'm afraid of her using mental health as a weapon against me if we have a disagreement. She might not even do that. I'm scared & don't know what to expect. Actual perps try to discredit us TI's, by telling us stuff like:
-Take your meds.
-Go get some help.
-A therapist is much needed right now.
-You're crazy.
-Schizo!
-You need to go get your head checked.
Some TI's suggest to avoid psychiatry & the mental health system like the plague! Psychiatry is part of MK Ultra mind control. I believe that God would want Christians to stay away from Big Pharma. We always hear about how we shouldn't put our trust in man, & that we should trust Jesus. I know, it's a hard struggle. People in the mental health system don't really care about God, & so-called "Christian" counselors... their narcissistic abuse & mind games are WORSE & more brutal/cruel than secular. Christian-based mental health is the WORST! It's sad that it has to be that way, but it's true, in my personal experiences. What's the point in seeing a mental health therapist, just to be victim blamed, perped, abused & oppressed? Psychiatry is NO friend to targeted individuals! Psychiatry is of the devil! It's another mind control weapon.
But yeah, I'm having mixed feelings. I'll be glad to go back to my hometown, but scared of crime. You can't argue with perps, while living in the 'hood. That's why I live like a hermit in this motel room. I don't go for walks, like I would like to.
I have been feeling homesick. Yesterday made 3 years, since I've been in Pensacola. I really don't want to go back to New Orleans to live. I REALLY want to stay here in Pensacola. I just want to visit New Orleans, but not live there. It's more noisy there. Pensacola is overall more quiet. Those ghetto party buses, I don't feel like hearing it!
I would be glad to get off the streets, once & for all. I would hope that, if I did confirm & finalize this offer, & everything works out well, I hope that that could be a stepping stone to me finally getting a place of my own again. I already told this person, what she could expect out of me. I didn't want her to be shocked at my "weirdness". I really don't like living with other people, because I don't want to be telling people what to do in their own house. I don't want to tell you that you can't smoke cigarettes or blast loud TV in your house because it bothers me. I'd just rather not stay there. People take me as being the one to be bossy & controlling, when I tell them that noise hurts my ears. My medical condition. Hyperacusis. They feel like they shouldn't have to bend over backwards, to appease me. I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable in their own home. I know I'm a piece of work, but I don't mean to be. I don't like to try to control others or tell them what to do. I'd just rather be alone. I've been battling to get my own place again, & the perps have been sabotaging & oppressing me.
Well, things I look forward to, if I go back home to New Orleans, is to eat at Copeland's at least just once, if they're still in business. I never got to eat there. People have been raving on about how good it is, ever since I was a little kid. I also look forward to gardening & cooking. Stocking up & prepping again. Doing more cooking YouTube videos, experimenting. If I can get to cook again, I'd like to experiment with more recipes & then write & publish a WHOLE cookbook! I still got it in me, how to cook. I just need to refresh my memory & refine my skills. I would love to share my food & cooking with others. Feed the poor & homeless downtown. I know how it feels to be forced to only be able to eat red beans, rice & chicken every day. Or nothing but pork & corn every day. I used to try to donate food to the homeless at Venice Beach, but they thought they were too good to accept any of my cooking. They were probably perps. I learned that many homeless people do NOT like healthy, nutritious food. They'd rather eat McDonald's or something.
I don't plan to stay in this young woman's hair for long. I hope I could get a job or a money-making opportunity & then get back on my feet & in my own place ASAP. If things don't work out, then I'll come back here to Pensacola. I can't be street homeless in New Orleans. I'm going to miss the beach & certain Pensacola restaurants. That's all I'll miss. Lol! If I get back to New Orleans, I'm avoiding my mentally slow, crazy biological family, the fake foster family, the fake IDMR cult members, people I went to school with & the Masonic smelly Craft family like the PLAGUE! & if I see Stank Whore Lenika again, I'm going to put her ass on film & put it on YouTube, just like Alex du Pre'! She's punkish & ain't gon' do shit! She probably would just narcissistically & self-righteously call the police on me. I hope to not see her.
I'm feeling so nervous. I almost want to decline the offer. I know that it's not sustainable for me to have to keep asking for $365/week to stay at this motel. When you're a targeted individual, who's homeless on the streets, you get harassed more. Easier for them to capture you & set you up to be wrongfully institutionalized or jailed. Someone may even set you up to get shot & killed by the police. They make more money off of keeping you forced homeless. That's why they call it "human trafficking". Profiting off of torturing & abusing you. So dirty & fucked up! I'm tired of the sleep deprivation, & I don't want to be homeless anymore.
Oh, & another thing. Update: 05/02/2022
The other day, I told this person:
Thank you. I'm trying what I could, with my writing, & seemingly everyone ignores me.
Her response was:
We'll work on that! We can figure something out together :).
I was like, "HELL NO!" Nope. I don't want anyone else to try to access my blog or my writing. I want to be 100% solo with MY writing. It seems like a covert narcissistic control freak fake friend who wants to try to rearrange & "fix" me. Maybe she might have different intentions. I'm just taking note.
She also told me, "I'll help you work on a resume for a work at home position." & being younger than me, it made me feel dumb. She voluntarily offered. I didn't tell her anything about needing any help with a resume. No matter the age, I need to be wary of someone who always volunteers a "fix-it" solution to every problem you have, even if you didn't ask that person.
I know, certain narcissistic abusers would ask, "Well, Candy. You can write & publish books on Amazon, but you can't write a resume?"
Fuck resumes & employment! Resumes, cover letters, background checks etc. Who the hell came up with that idea? That's why so many people are in poverty. Just accept someone wanting to work. Ok? & why don't companies train people?
I'm just doing my own thing to try to survive. I can have the top notch PERFECT resume, & still wouldn't get hired because I'm a Targeted Individual! & then I hear that I'm overqualified for many jobs, yet lack work experience because of being blacklisted. Then, I have to hear people say, "Well, you need to dumb down your resume."
This person is always talking about fighting in the spirit & fasting. How are you going to do fasting, & you're pregnant? I don't want to trust any false prophets talking about what the spirit told them! I just want to read the Bible for myself.
I think this person is a narcissistic fake hypo-Christian TI perp trying to be my handler. That's what my gut instinct is telling me. She hasn't told me much about herself, but I told her so much about me.
As I said, I know people are going to side eye me for rejecting her offer, & I may have to end up back on the streets. I'm still undecided on whether or not to accept this. But I need some relief from homelessness. I really do. I guess I'll give it a try. I really don't want to live underneath anyone younger than me, because then, I'll have to follow their rules. They can have authority, rulership & control over me. Dog, I hate my fucking life! I really don't want to go stay by her.
I'm devastated by this narcissistic fake friendship with this guy, who's also younger than me. Covert narcissism is more damaging than overt. Covert & overt narcs try to act like they walk around like as if they're too flawless & too perfect. Making you feel like such an inferior failure.
https://youtu.be/PanFnLw_f5I
https://youtu.be/c0LiL7n7jn0
Part 3
05/08/2022
https://youtu.be/AHGzV0G1GPE
Targeted Creole (@CreoleTargeted) Tweeted:
The fake roommate is doing more underhanded perp activity. I will never try to cook for her again!
#gangstalking
You don't lie & say that my food tastes really good, & then wait until I take a nap to throw it away!
https://t.co/xanu7kOdyn
https://twitter.com/CreoleTargeted/status/1523396332509347842?s=20