The Awkward Church Sermon

Morris O'Day, a homeless, disabled, elderly Vietnam Veteran, was sitting in a wheelchair at the door of the church, at the top of the handicap ramp. It was a cold December 17. All he had was a thin jacket & a thin sheet. It was his first day at that church, since he was new in town. The night before, he slept at the Salvation Army shelter, which charged $25/night. Yes. They raised the prices, due to inflation. He had to panhandle that $25, just like he would have to do every night. 

The church doors opened, & breakfast was served. They charged $10 for a breakfast plate. Breakfast tacos & fruit were served. Morris couldn't afford the breakfast plate, so 2 church members, a set of twins, named Jeff & Josh, each pitched in $5 for Morris to get to eat. That saved the day. 

After breakfast, everyone separated into age groups for Sunday school. Brother Vincent led the Sunday school sermon for the group that Morris was in. The Sunday school topic was about God's Old Testament grace & mercy, with His arm stretched out still. The men walked out of the study rooms, talking about how they never knew about God's Old Testament grace & mercy, with all the times they've read the Bible. 

The choir sang 4 songs. Morris really enjoyed the music. He couldn't snap his fingers because of his arthritis, but he was bopping his head & tapping his left foot. His favorite hymn that was played was, "Jesus Is The Sweetest Name I Know". 

Pastor Wiseman was unusually absent that morning, because his truck had a flat tire. A religious narcissist, named Zachary, took it upon himself to get up & start "preaching". He was just a regular member. He wasn't an elder, a deacon, a reverend, a co-pastor or NOTHING! & he was very well-known in the church to abuse & mistreat his wife. His wife, Victoria, suffers complex PTSD from his abuse. Zachary taunts his wife, calling her "Victoria the Victim". 

Zachary oddly started preaching about God's New Testament wrath, as opposed to the Sunday school sermon from earlier. He kept hammering it into everyone's head about going to hell & talking about how the worm dieth not & the fire is not quenched. The church was upset because he was quoting & reading from the NIV, CEV & NKJV, rather than the KJV. After all, it was a King James Bible believing church. He took it upon himself to collect tithes & everything. He had everyone blinded by fear. He used neurolinguistic programming & was throwing up Satanic hand signs. The church members were hypnotized to sleep, & then he got angry, threw tantrums & started yelling throughout the rest of the sermon. He extended the church service for 3 more hours, held communion when it wasn't even communion day, & he cancelled dinner. 

Zachary called Morris towards the front of the church & said that Morris deserved to be punished in a wheelchair, & then abused the scripture about how if you don't work, you don't eat. In fact, Morris became disabled from fighting war. He was old enough to be retired. Afterwards, there was a shouting match, & Morris rebuked Zachary & put him in his place. Morris was the only 1 who wasn't scared of Zachary. Morris started to quote the scripture off the top of his head about God not being any respecter of persons. He rebuked Zachary as a modern day pharisee. Zachary couldn't help but to feel stupid & walk out of the church service. Morris continued on with the sermon for another 45 minutes. The church service ended.

By that time, everyone had to go home & put their children to bed for school the next morning. The church members were riding on the way home, wondering what that was all about. Pastor Wiseman heard about the situation during the Wednesday night Bible study, & then he gave Morris a roof over his head, got him cleaned up & then started allowing him to be a co-pastor. In fact, Pastor Wiseman stepped down & allowed Morris to do all the preaching.

THE END