07/31/2022
Look at this website.
https://www.prettylifestylez.com/5-clear-signs-you-are-not-a-narcissist/
During my illuminati research, I remember reading about psychopaths on the whale.to website. Also, other illuminati & New World Order websites, about how psychopaths run the world.
2 Corinthians 4:4
King James Version
4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.
Also, see
Isaiah 14:14
King James Version
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
http://www.whale.to/b/psychopathy6.html
http://www.whale.to/b/authoritarian_personality_traits.html
See? No one would ever describe Candy Grandpre as being "authoritarian"; & if they do, they're the narc deflecting & projecting.
Here's the main page on psychopaths.
http://www.whale.to/b/psychopaths_h.html
The woman of a blog that used to be
https://web.archive.org/web/20171122070731/http://galatiansfour.blogspot.com/
was the one who told me that she behooves me to research "narcissistic abuse" after my ordeal with Lisa Ruby & Tracy Broadhurst. This was around October or November in 2016. I believe it was in October. Because this was right after I was battling whether or not to commit suicide.
I had promised myself before, that I would NEVER attempt suicide again after the traumatic near-success of the October 15, 2010 suicide attempt. I was trying to stay strong & hold myself together, after all I went through. I didn't realize that suicide was part of the gang stalking goals. Hell, in 2010, I had NO knowledge of targeted individuals & gang stalking. Not until 2011 & 2012. But I found out about the illuminati, cults & the New World Order elite (actually...1st time was in 2009 on Wikipedia about the stuff. I never heard of the term "illuminati" until 2010. But of course, Wikipedia shunned that talk, calling it "conspiracy theories".) So, it just went over my head.
In about April, May or June 2010, was when everyone was talking about it on Twitter. Talking about celebrities selling their souls to the devil. The ENTIRE year of 2010 was so depressing for me.
But back to what I was saying. In 2016, I was wrestling on whether or not to give in & just END IT ALL! It was yet another traumatic experience. During my teenage years, there were a few times when I bought $5 worth of $1 each of pralines from a woman, named Marlene from the fake IDMR cult. I used to sneak when the foster mom wasn't looking, when she went over to talk to fake Mrs. Lois or fake Mrs. Jennifer. That only happened a few times. Of course, being an emotional eater. Being depressed. I was about maybe 15 years old, being targeted & not realizing it. So, I would eat 5 pralines in one sitting, being on those psych meds. Nothing bad ever happened to me. I used to be a binge overeater when I was on those psych meds. Not anymore. I'm glad I broke that cycle.
Again, back to what I was saying. It was Sunday, October 23, 2016. The day before, a lady at the downtown Greenville, SC farmers market narcissistically berated me about buying up too much sugar. She didn't even know me. It wasn't her business. She was one of those narcissistic abusers who falsely assumed that just because I bought 5 pralines, that that meant that I was going to be greedy & eat all of them in one sitting. The trigger word "greedy", the online perps call me that every chance they get. So evil! They don't care about me being hypersensitive to that word. Narcissistic abusers call you "greedy" on purpose, just to be cruel. Not because they care.
I think this is the article I was looking for.
https://medium.com/bettertoday/narcissists-and-food-control-b7ba2979c56
https://unlivingthelie.medium.com/the-narcissist-and-food-de2ac4bee687
So, I was bothered by that lady's comment. I was already going through a lot. That was the LAST straw! I originally wasn't going to eat all those pralines, since I have moved on from binge eating. I think I did put the pralines in the freezer, since I was trying to stretch them out & eat maybe one per week.or every other week. The lady who used to sell pralines at the farmers market in Greenville, SC used to be nice & give me a couple of extra pralines for free, when I would buy them, since I'm from New Orleans.
Remember this? I recently wrote this.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/07/targeted-individuals-reactive-abuse.html?m=0
The next day, I gave the meddlesome narcissistic lady her wish, by eating 5 pralines in one sitting. As I said, I was already going through a lot. The gang stalking, the vibrating, the narcissistic abuse from others, the victim blaming when I tried to reach out for support, etc.
I ate 5 pralines at once. About 30 or 45 minutes later, my ENTIRE body started shaking violently & uncontrollably. I was like, "Wait a minute. This wasn't what I was expecting because this never happened to me before, while eating high sugar." I was taking prescribed sciatica medicine (I cannot find the name. I searched it online. Meclizine is for vertigo. They give an overview of medicine classifications.) But I remember that the medication was switched out with Ondansetron. This medication before the Ondansetron. I can't think of the name. But anyway, I ate a bunch of Skittles one day in September. (I haven't had Skittles in YEARS, & I don't eat candy anymore.) The day after eating the Skittles, I ended up with hip pain so badly that I couldn't walk. Never experienced that before. That's how I ended up with sciatica in my right hip. All I had to do was eat healthy. Shame on me.
I didn't have Amazing Grass on that October day, but I had something similar. It wasn't Garden of Life. I believe it was Country Farms Super Greens. Wow! I haven't used that in a long time. That product saved my life. I took a double serving of it, & then I was on the toilet, 💩'ing for like 3 hours. I had so much physical energy that I didn't know what to do with it. I had enough to give Forrest Gump a run for his money. Sugar caused sciatica, & then the medication made my body hypersensitive to sugar. My blood sugar was always very normal around that time. It took me until January 2018 to recover & go back to eating sugar normally. I lost so much weight.
I also overate sugar less than 2 months after the October 23, 2016 incident right after my cousin Blake got shot & killed. Same thing happened with the shakes. I ate a whole box of Little Debbie Dunkin' Stix. My twin sister is so evil that she tried to get me committed to the mental hospital then.
Even with my 2010 suicide attempt, she wanted fake brownie points for "saving my life" & then bragged to me that she just wanted to copy off of the rapper T.I. saving someone's life from a suicide attempt. She even admitted that she didn't care, & that she was going to let me die. Why did I call her up right after I swallowed over 75 pills? I think I overdosed on Klonopin & Benadryl that day. What she & Ramona did with scamming me out of my student loan money was the DIRECT reason why I was suicidal. I was already going through a lot of other issues. I asked myself, "Is that all that I'm good for? JUST to be used?" But I was suicidal all year in 2010. After they abused me in the mental hospital, I attempted suicide again right after I got out. But I kept it secret. Same thing in 2007. Taking Wellbutrin psych pills made me suicidal. I went to fake UBH mental hospital in Denton, Texas, & they abused me so badly in that mental hospital that I attempted suicide again & tried to drown myself in the bathtub. This happened at least twice. At a fake outpatient group, a lady asked me, "Why do you KEEP trying to kill yourself!?" She was also a narcissistic abuser, who was HIGHLY narcissistic!
https://ubhdenton.wordpress.com/
I may need to do a separate blog post, talking about all of my past suicide attempts & mental hospital experiences.
08/01/2022
Continued...
After the lady with the Galatians 4 blog told me to research "narcissism", I kept reading about it, & I was feeling borderline suicidal & hopeless again. I kept wondering & questioning whether or not it is ME who's the narcissist. I went into having constant panic attacks, wondering & wondering & wondering. I was like, well, if these conditions describe me, then I don't want to hurt anyone. As I was educating myself & reading on the symptoms, I kept on telling myself that this isn't what my character is, but whatever abusive, cruel people in the mental health system always falsely accuse me of. Now I have a bigger & better picture of narcissistic abusers.
Well, I did more researching & digging. The Galatians 4 blogger reassured me that I'm NOT a narcissist, & that when others say that I'm playing the victim & seeking pity & attention, that they're using projection. & yes, narcissistic abusers always falsely accuse me of these things. Especially in the fake, Satanic mental health system that they idolize & worship. She also told me that on pictures, people see the light of a conscience in me. Others have told me that I still have a soul & a conscience because whenever I smile, the smile is genuine & not fake. Nobody ever told me that my eyes look dark, empty or vacant. They tell me that they could tell that I'm an empath, & that I wear my heart on my sleeve. People always tell me about my light & my spark. Telling me that I'm a beautiful soul or a pure, kind & gentle soul. Telling me that I'm a chosen child of God. Even fake "nice" narcissistic abusers tell me all these things. They tell me that I'm HIGHLY intelligent. Then, they over exaggerate smear campaigning me as the BIGGEST demon whenever I question them about treating me like a child.
Let me back up. In 2011 & 2012, I may have read about narcissistic abuse on the whale.to website when I read about psychopaths running the world. In 2015, during 1 of my arguments, my twin sister called me a narcissist. She said, You ARE a narcissist!" I was like, "A narcissist? What's that?" I didn't even look it up. & SHE kept calling everybody a narcissist. She admitted that her calling the biological gay brother Mark a narcissist was the reason why he bloodied her face up.
Even as far back as 2009, whenever I would go to the mental health counseling office, I used to see lots of posters on the walls, warning people about domestic violence. They categorized everything into physical abuse, financial, emotional, mental, psychological, sexual, spiritual, etc. & I was thinking. "Wow! This sounds an awful lot like how the foster mom, my twin sister, my other family members & certain fake 'friends' treat me!" I had NO idea! Year later, I heard that these types of narcissistic abuse is demonic. It's not only with couples & spouses, but also mother-daughter, siblings, friends, etc. But these same abusers smear campaign YOU as the demon-possessed, crazy monsters. My twin sister just did a fake video, calling me a "mentally ill beast on the loose" since she can't control me. Remember me saying that she acts like she delusionally believes she's my "pimp"? & she's the one with the flying monkeys, while I have no one on my side. Even other professed targeted individuals ignore me & won't listen to me. They're afraid to stick up for me. But they're quick to defend her lies. Many family members did her WAAAAAY worse than what she falsely accused me of.
Here's the video of her, yet again, trying to discredit my targeting.
https://youtu.be/y-6xXty33PA
Her cult disciples are just as abusive & narcissistic as her! What her cult followers are doing to me, if they treated her like that, she would probably self-destruct even worse. What if they betray her? What if they see her for who she really is & realize that she's been lying the whole time?
Read this WHOLE short website.
https://www.abuseandrelationships.org/
& also read this.
https://www.psychopathfree.com/
These 2 websites below expose religious narcissists.
http://www.wickedshepherds.com/
https://web.archive.org/web/20150205230144/http://www.batteredsheep.com/
Here's my blog post about my personal experiences.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/01/10-11-2020-blog-177-fake-hells-way.html?m=0
& more.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/02/troubled-about-fake-friend.html
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/07/troubled-by-fake-friend-pt-2.html?m=0
& a few other fake TI perps who are controlling, abusive religious or not, narcissistic abusers. Usually, the gang stalkers & fake TI perps use projection & lie & say that we targeted individuals act like we think we're special. But y'all perps think y'all are worthy of the very same nice things that y'all rob us of! Hypocrites! Y'all can eat a nice steak dinner, but I'm greedy & entitled when I do. They're ENTITLED to meddle in our business. Paid Satanic criminal snitches who make big bucks performing nefarious jobs & putting our torture on the dark web. That's about as narcissistic as they come!
***If any bad grammar, punctuation, usage, etc., it's because I'm still sleep deprived. The narcissistic gang stalkers, insulting my writing, are the ones who are illiterate & can't spell the very same names that they call me. They even misspell the word "stupid", while trying to call me stupid. 😂
Update:
I forgot to say that I would always apologize profusely & ask people if they're mad at me. Narcissistic abusers get enraged at that, & here comes the manufactured mental health "crisis", & the cops get called. Someone almost goes to jail. That someone is ME!