09/24/2022
This is what I talked about a couple of days ago.
I guess I'll NEVER get any closure about abusive people. #narcissistic #gangstalking
https://youtu.be/7RqQl3aIjhs
https://youtu.be/uruDpZyweXM
The psychopathic online perps made SURE I didn't get any thumbs up! But I was guaranteed a minimum of 10 thumbs down. They don't play fairly.
I'm still not over it. I'm going to speak my mind & express myself. I'm going to KEEP talking until I get some proper closure & healing!
Darius shocked me, & he psychologically damaged me worse than what Tricia did to me. As I said, he pulled another Lisa Ruby on me. I'm pissed & angry at fake, retarded Tricia EVERY SINGLE DAY for having me forced back on the streets! A real targeted individual wouldn't set you up to be back homeless on the streets again. I was supposed to be dead! Still in all, I feel more psychologically battered by Darius than Tricia.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/05/i-shouldve-trusted-my-iffy-instincts.html?m=1
When Darius secretly pulled away from me & did this video about me,
https://youtu.be/r2plKIUCknw
The video prompted me to write this ebook. His mannerisms & way of talking in that video was similar to the fake foster mom Ann! Mannerisms of a narcissistic abuser!
"Let It Go: My Path to C-PTSD Healing"
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/01/let-it-go-free-ebook.html?m=0
I even said in the ebook that I'm still not fully healed.
Look at Star Bricker's false bad "reviews".
https://www.amazon.com/Let-Go-Path-C-PTSD-Healing-ebook/dp/B08W34MM1R/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=kPRhu&content-id=amzn1.sym.38bb2fca-b288-4f86-afed-5132328a7c6d&pf_rd_p=38bb2fca-b288-4f86-afed-5132328a7c6d&pf_rd_r=ZR4K3AX98C53JH5WN0FV&pd_rd_wg=LL4gZ&pd_rd_r=793a31dd-0dca-40bd-8ecb-340d01a22f00&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_mbl
Healing? Hardly.
Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2021
Wow. If you want to read this for encouragement, thinking it's a book of someone who has overcome, don't. There is no healing in this booklet. The author itemize the reasons and events that made her feel abused, and then tries to rationalize her lack of healing. She is not healed, she is not healing. While I don't doubt she was abused, or her feelings, there is too much paranoia working in her mind now to think healing has begun. Her reasoning is off, and she misunderstands social interaction and adult life. All coated in religion. She also can't see the disconnect between claiming C-PTSD, a psychiatic/psychological diagnosis, and saying psychiatry is wrong. It's a booklet of duplicity. A real case of "do as I say and not as I do" kind of book. It is a confused and confusing mess.
There is one piece of advice that the author gives that is helpful, the TITLE. Let it go.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57041843-let-it-go
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
Star Bricker
3 reviews
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February 8, 2022
This is not a journey into someone who has worked to overcome PTSD. The author is far from healed, and if she is on a path toward healing, she is running in the wrong direction. It is a book (which includes fund raising for the author) that sets out how this person still feels traumatized by just about everything and everyone everyday. It is a list of people who the author thinks has abused them, sometimes for doing nothing more than not giving her money. This author seems to have had no normal relationships with anyone from the earliest memories to now. While I know she was abused in her earlier life, she now believes that everyone has and is abusing her. People who don't pick up her calls are now moments when this person will become traumatized. Supporting mental illness is a slippery slope, and this book shows why. She claims abuse, yet does nothing healing except vent. It is not well-written, or organized and is a rant without healing, nothing more.
(She needs to mind her own business. She thinks my "healing" should come from more forced ment health system abuse. She's an online gang stalking sex trafficking stranger. She's the queen of smear campaigns & lying.
Other targeted individuals are forced to fundraise for their survival, as well. Homeless or not. They don't want me to get out of my situation or get proper help. Star Bricker is an ABUSER!)
I think this "Harrison" perp is her, too.
Well...
This is not a book of healing. This is a book with lots of hurt, mockery, and fear. I would easily say this author is still healing, but definitely not "healed". There is a lot of concerning verbiage in this book and once again, not sure who the editor is, but the thoughts are very scattered and concerning.
As someone with CPTSD, I found this book actually rather "Triggering" and would NOT suggest this story for someone suffering from this debilitating mental illness.
Its a little frustrating to keep up with, as I said, the writing is all over the place and thoughts are not very well concluded. Its all very open-ended with no resolve or actual help.
I have been reading these books out of interest of the author, who has some interesting trains of thought that is like people watching in my mental-ward back when I was healing.
I wish the author well, but I do hope they find real help. This needs to be relabeled.
Here's my explanation post.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/01/even-targeted-individuals-can-be.html?m=0
Also, that Regenia Mc/Patrice McDee lady said some insensitive things to me as YouTube comments on my videos when discussing the foster mom's abuse.
I feel broken, ruined & destroyed all over again.
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/02/troubled-about-fake-friend.html?m=1
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/07/troubled-by-fake-friend-pt-2.html?m=1
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2022/07/private-original-unedited-targeted.html?m=1
If my writing is "all over the place", it's because of the gang stalkers attacking me with directed energy weapons, using noise harassment campaigns or force sleep depriving me. Doing whatever to sabotage & distract me. That's why my writing might not come out as great as I want it to. Non-gang stalkers say that my writings are very good.
Look at this with Raz-B from B2K. Even the video uploader was trying to mock him.
https://youtu.be/GDmCAaF98to
When you're being abused & crying out for help, you get more backlash & attacks, & people don't believe you. Instead, they always defend & agree with the abuser! They try to frighten & bully you into fear & silence.
Why would I lie about being abused in foster care & put into a cult? When Darius secretly betrayed me, he acted like he doubted everything I told him & started being EXTREMELY abusive! & he started secretly siding with my twin sister & hitting me where it hurts the most. I'm STILL at a loss for words on what he did to me. You see ALL of my gang stalking evidence, refuse to believe it or wanna hear me talk about it, & STILL side with people who sex traffick & perp me? I have a lot of unanswered questions. People told me that he sounds toxic & evil. I'll never forget when Winnie Mangwende said that he has a "God" complex. But she betrayed & backstabbed me, too. & the fake TI perps always falsely accuse me of perping & making money off of them. Narcissists using projection. Darius quit wanting to hear me telling him about Star Bricker's abuse, when he used to defend me. He quit wanting to hear me talk about my targeting because he was secretly gathering Intel & looking for stuff to use against me. I'm going to try to make my voice heard!
& I never knew Darius thought I was mentally slow or retarded. A truly saved, holy person wouldn't think that way about you. Just... Fuck him! Everything about the "friendship" was FAKE!
https://sites.google.com/site/exposegangstalking/validate
I believe he falls into this category.
- TI - Perp:
Started out as an uncorrupted TI.
Accepted a corrupting deal or a threat -- sold their soul to become a TI - Perp.
The TI - Perp targets other TIs -- but still gets targeted them self.
Tricia is
-Perp:
Has never been a TI -- and who targets TIs & TI - Perps.
I lost EVERYBODY behind Tricia!
This is me!
Definitions:
TI:
An uncorrupted Targeted Individual (TI).
I'm going to try to continue this tomorrow.
Well, it's Wednesday, September 28, 2022.
Darius DID eventually act like as if he was using my traumas & my targeting as a weapon against me. & then, he followed what the perps said & lied, saying that I use my traumas & targeting as an opportunistic excuse to manipulate people for pity, sympathy & money.
I'm traumatized by his abuse towards me & wonder what I did to deserve this. Him & other religious narcissists & gang stalkers want me "punished". Why the hell would he try to criminalize or try to pretend to chastise & punish me for talking about my traumas & targeting? The fakest thing you can do is sneak behind my back & secretly side with & defend my narc perp twin sister & other gang stalking sex trafficking perps. He told me back in 2020, "Don't go look back on your twin sister's page". Then, earlier this year, with that 4 hour narcissistic gaslighting & lecturing session over the phone, I confronted him about his hypocrisy, & he said, "Yeah, I was watching your twin sister's videos! Yeah, I did! & I have that right, because there are 2 sides to a story!" You're a stranger who acts like you think you have more rights to watch my own twin sister's videos full of lies about me than I do? & you get mad at me for watching? While she tried to discredit all of my videos? & it was his wet dream to lie in wait to use it as a weapon against me to start defending & agreeing with my twin sister. He knew he was fucked up! How can you tell someone to repent, when you're an abusive religious narcissist? Fake TI perp? Why, in his fake Twitter spaces, did he encourage everyone else to talk about targeting & saying that we don't need to go through this alone, but I get treated like I'm a punk loser for reaching out for emotional support? Like as if reaching out to someone for emotional support is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit?
I don't think Darius "turned" or "flipped" with being a perp. I think he was already sold out before he got to me & then started psychologically & spiritually working on me like a science project & manipulating me from the BEGINNING! He has expert knowledge on Freemasonry & Hollywood Satanic rituals. Some people told me that he's a sold out perp who got hit by a car because he disobeyed. Tricia even said that & then laughed. Well, she must be very compliant! I don't think she ever was targeted.
Why was Darius supportive of me, going to bat for & defending me with my traumas & targeting, & then secretly pulled away from me & started manipulating the friendship & gaslighting me every time I confronted him? He acted like as if he grew more weary & frustrated with me. 2-faced & fake. At one point, he was the only 1 I was talking to. Gina & everyone else turned against me. Gina is a bully. Darius even acted 2-faced towards Gina. He's another narcissistic abuser who likes to laugh at people's suffering, just like Tricia & Mrs. Samantha!
Darius called me demon-possessed & crazy in a video full of lies about me, saying that I "need serious help", & that I'm a sick person. I exposed the truth about his manipulation & abuse. He's WAAAAY younger than me & became an abusive, bossy, controlling bully later on during the fake friendship.
He even used the Lenika situation as a weapon against me. The Lenika situation is how my targeting began. In April of last year, he called me up 1 day, yelling at me & doubting my targeting. All the evidence he saw. 🤦♀️ What loyal rarity of a friend would secretly unsubscribe from your YouTube videos, telling you that you're fake because he thinks your videos are too long? Telling you one fake "nice" thing over the phone & then in a video, saying something polar opposite & then gaslight you when you confront him? He lied & denied it when I confronted him about saying in a video, "These fake ass TI's, with these LOOOONG ass videos!"
Darius Hollins is a fucking snake! He said, "I told you, you cannot trust anyone!", yet he secretly backstabbed & betrayed me for no reason. If he had an issue with me, he kept it secret for nearly 2 years. As I said, he scapegoats me for why he got hit by a car. A blue SUV. He didn't start acting weird right away. He started slowly & subtly changing against me. He thinks I deserve to be punished with suffering my targeting & traumas alone with no emotional support. Now, I'm glad I have the courage to speak out against him. I was scared for long time. Everything I'm saying in here is true. I never knew he was the type to lie, manipulate & twist the truth. He's VERY disrespectful!
He acts like he delusionally believes he's the "smartest" person on the planet. He acts like he delusionally believes he's higher, bigger & better than Jesus Christ. He lied to me. A closet fake Black Hebrew Israelites cult member. Another thing. How is it that he had NO problems answering questions about his gay sex life, but he got an attitude when I would ask him how long he's been a Bible believer & started studying the Bible for? & he couldn't even give me a straight answer about that. How come it's OK for him to feel triggered & not me? He lied to me, saying that he wasn't easily bothered by anything I said. At first, he let me be myself, & then he started to be controlling. He tried to tell me that I'm very "demanding" with how I wanted to be treated, just because I told him what my triggers are. Ok. Well, he didn't tell me what his triggers are. How was I supposed to know? Usually, targeted individuals usually tell each other about their triggers, so that 1 can keep in mind to not violate the other. When I told Toni H about what triggers me, she said, "Does EVERYTHING bother you?" But then, she started acting like a perp. Very disrespectful & abusive! She was saying certain phrases that triggered me & gave me flashbacks about my traumatic rape situations. Another narcissistic control freak fake friend & fake TI perp who was 14 years younger than me & thought she had HIGH "authority" over me.
Usually, sincere targeted individuals respect & try to keep in mind what would trigger another TI, & we would try make a conscious decision to refrain from offending the other TI.
I didn't come to him. He came to me. He wanted the friendship with me. He reached out to me first. He did JUST LIKE what Tricia did. Trying to love bomb & butter me up in the beginning. Now, he throws in my face how he talked on the phone with me for HOURS, like as if I didn't deserve his time. He went from checking up on me every day, to contacting me every 2 weeks whenever he felt like it.
Don't change y'all narratives now, mother fuckers!
https://gangstalkedcreoleauthor.blogspot.com/2021/12/narrative-change-covert-narcissists.html?m=0
I'm going to continue talking about my traumas & my targeting. 🖕 You have to be VERY FUCKING SICK & sadistic to try to discredit someone's targeting & traumas!
Darius & Mrs. Samantha were both telling me in the beginning that my twin sister is a perp who sold out. They pointed out her Satanic hand gestures.
Darius pretended to care about my mental health & traumas. He has the same opinion about me that the perps do. At first, he pretended to act like he felt like the biological & foster family force handicap me. I didn't realize that he thought I was mentally "retarded". & then he tried to say, "I'mma give you your flowers"! & then made it like as if I'm a retarded person who cleverly knows how to use pity & sympathy to scam people for money, when he knows how sabotaged & deprived targeted individuals are. He's going along with the same gang stalking smear campaigns against me as everyone else. He used projection in his fake video about me, falsely accusing me of being a fink spy agent, when I have ZERO connections or ties to the fusion centers. 144KalaK even lied on me, saying that I work for the fusion centers after I exposed her bullying me & secretly siding with my twin sister.
Darius even lied in that video, saying that the Most High "warned" him against me a long time ago. Ok, well why did you string me along, pretending that we were still friends? He turned out to be more & more weird as time went on. Why did he keep telling me that he thought I was his favorite & that he thought I was chosen by God? I was always consistent. I'm still fucking hurt & need a therapist after dealing with him, but I can't go to the Satanic mental health system. I feel psychologically & spiritually raped! He acted like a manipulative, controlling ex-boyfriend. He was the fake "friend" offering emotional closure & support, & now I have to try to seek emotional support & closure about what he did to me. I never met him in person.
Now, I hate/resent him & view him like another form of Stank Whore Lenika! I'm not shutting the fuck up until or unless I get some damn closure & the proper emotional support & healing! & now, I have nonstop unwanted, intrusive OCD thoughts about him & Tricia all day, every day. Other people, as well. Both of them are younger than me & act like they delusionally believe they have the "authority" to punish me. & you're pathetic for trying to 1-up a female!
The fake "friendship" & fake "closure" seemed to be too good to be true. Darius, just like the rest of the TI community, you owe me a fucking apology! But you're THAT narcissistic & arrogant that I'll never hear it. You need to reflect on what you did to me & how you made me feel. & then, he tried to lecture me on treating people the way I want to be treated. He just pretended everything was fine & dandy. Was fake, manipulative & gaslighting, & then afterwards, when I confronted him about hanging up in my face for no reason, he went off on me. I REFUSE to put up with being lectured & berated for 4 hours, especially by someone who's halfway young enough to be my son!
What made Darius similar to Lisa Ruby, (in which I told him about her & he even used that against me & started acting like her) is that she encouraged me to let my guard down & tell her all of my foster care abuse traumas. She even had me write everything down. After she got enough information that she wanted, that's when she quit wanting to hear my "complaints" & then started acting EXACTLY like all of my abusers & then call me "demonic" when I resist her fake "deliverance ministry" demands. At first, Darius was ENCOURAGING me to do those long, 3-hour videos (& he was willing to watch & comment), with me talking about my foster care abuse, my targeting, the fake IDMR cult abuse or any other abuse. He said, "Go ahead & let it all out, because this is your TESTIMONY"! Then later on down the line, "Your videos are too long." "You tell all your business". "I don't want to hear any of your drama"., etc. He acted like he thought I was perfect & could do NO WRONG in the beginning! Love bombing me & trying to butter me up. Lisa Ruby used to send me lots of unwanted gifts via Amazon Prime. She even bought me a laptop that I told her not to buy me. Only to use that later on down the line for manipulation, exploitation & control. Lisa Ruby, for sure, is an exploitative narcissistic control freak fake friend & fake hypo-Christian TI perp. She lied about being a targeted individual. She lured me to her house, setting me up for an attempted blood sacrifice & then left me homeless, using Christianity & the Bible to manipulate, exploit & abuse me, like Tricia did. She also tried to hog up all of my targeting for herself, just like Tricia did. I still have it in the works to do a blog post on Lisa Ruby & Tracy Broadhurst.
Again! Why would I lie about being abused in foster care & put into a cult? Why would a "real" TI act like a perp & defend & agree with the same perps who try to discredit me, saying that gang stalking isn't real?
Darius & other fake TI perp sellouts are guilty in my gang stalking murder. If anything happens to me, all of you who participated in this HATE campaign, fake TI perp or regular perp, y'all got blood on y'all hands!
Who the hell you think you are, that you think you have the "authority" to punish a disabled woman 8 years older than you, for trying to seek emotional support for my targeting & traumas? Darius would reach out to me when he felt like his targeting is unbearable. What a fucking hypocrite! In fact, all fake TI perps, narcissistic abusers, TI-TURNED-PERPS & regular perps are self-righteous hypocrites! They want to illegally STEAL the undeserved "authority" to punish people, when they, themselves deserve to be punished for playing psych games & fucking up people's mental health! Y'all want me to shut up about my abuse because y'all can't handle looking in the mirror!
If I, Candy Grandpre, was the fake TI, then I wouldn't be sabotaged or isolated. Wake the fuck up! If you're a real TI, then I'm NOT your enemy! I'm not supposed to be your enemy. Stop confusing people, playing both sides & acting like a perp! Fuck all y'all!
I'm tired of being forced to hold everything in! & y'all wonder why I lash out & have fucking outbursts! I have every right to expose my traumas & targeting! Y'all should've never abused & exploited me in the 1st place! & yes, Darius acts like he thinks he's better than everyone!