There's a man, named Mr. Clarence Madison. He has a wife, named Loretta. They're rich, living the high life. They both enjoy their careers. Mr. Clarence is a workaholic. He's an accountant, a mechanic & a chemist. Mrs. Loretta is a homemaker. Yes, homemaking is a legitimate job, & her husband is her employer.
Mr. Clarence, an extrovert, is an unofficial Christian preacher. He didn't go to school for any fancy degrees to get ordained, but he says that he's ordained by God. Mrs. Loretta, on the other hand, is so introverted that people think she's stuck up. She's really not a people-person.
One day, Mr. Clarence's good friend, Mr. Rodney Sheppard, realized that he (Mr. Clarence) is getting burnt out from working so much. He asked Mr. Clarence, "Hey, Mr. Brick. Don't you ever think that you make an idol out of working so hard? Your children & grandchildren are all grown now. When are you going to retire?" (Mr. Clarence's nickname is "Brick" because of being such a workaholic.)
Mr. Clarence replied, "Mr. Sheppard. My labor for the Lord is NEVER done! Do YOU hear me?"
Mr. Rodney said, "Oh, drunk on dat work, huh?"
Mr. Clarence sarcastically pretended like he was both crying & laughing at the same time.
Mr. Rodney, then, asked him, "Where yo' wife at? Why she don't help ya?"
Mr. Clarence told him, "Now, you know she don't like to leave out nowhere past dat front door."
Mr. Rodney said, "She got some funny ways, yeah!"
Mr. Clarence shrugged his shoulders & said, "Well, that's Loretta for you!"
They both cackled like hyenas.
Mr. Clarence told Mr. Rodney, "You know what? You're right. Maybe both me & my wife work too much & too hard, but I ain't stopping 'til I go back in da dirt. I'd rather be busy than distracted. Being distracted gets you in trouble. Being bored can also get you in trouble. I can't afford to keep my mind idle."
Mr. Rodney was like, "Shucks? Stop enslaving yourself! Can't y'all live a little? Take a vacation or something! Just a LITTLE break?"
Mr. Clarence said, "Vacation where?"
Mr. Rodney told him, "Here's an idea. Your 40th wedding anniversary is approaching soon. Why don't y'all revisit & re-experience your honeymoon?"
Mr. Clarence's eyes widened! He exclaimed, "My wife would LOVE that! We can have a REAL-LIFE Tahitian treat again. Just like the soda. & that's some delicious soda. You ever tried it before? My wife loves it."
Mr. Rodney joked, "I thought you were gonna switch your mind & go to Delaware, so y'all can drink up some Delaware punch. If you drink summa dat, it don't mean yo' wife can punch you! Hahaha!"
Mr. Clarence said, "Well, if we mix the Tahitian treat & the Delaware punch, would it convert to Hawaiian punch?"
Mr. Rodney jokingly pushed him & laughed, saying, "Boy, get outta here!"
After that, Mr. Clarence convinced his wife, Loretta, to take a SUPER vacation, & they vacationed in Tahiti, Delaware, AND Hawaii. & in THAT order. 2 months per place. 6 months total. After that trip, Mrs. Loretta couldn't be any happier. Her "funny ways" subsided. People quit describing her as being so stuck up & fickle.
THE END
*I started this on Thursday, April 10, 2025.
**Also, yes, the "ebonics" in the dialogue is INTENTIONAL. Deal with it!