Pat Me A Cake (YouTube version)

There is a woman, named Yuriana R. Santana. She goes by "Yuri". She's very well-known for her passion for baking cakes for people. She has always vowed to do it out of the kindness of her heart, never expecting a penny. Her cakes are so good that people fight like they're fighting over Black Friday deals. 

One day, she baked a college graduation cake for her older sister, Courtney. Many of the graduation party attendees kept saying that the cake "slaps of a unique kind of big back tendernism". People tried to ask her for the secret recipes to her fresh, delicious, moist cakes, but she wouldn't tell anyone. They tried to jokingly sing the "patty cake" nursery rhyme to try to manipulate & convince her to give up the recipes, but that tactic didn't work. They tried to create their own song, singing, "Pat me a cake. Don't let it break. Don't feed it to Jake. Please, my tummy won't ache." Yuri laughed. She STILL would NOT give up any hints or ideas about the cake recipes. 

About a month later, she was in the kitchen baking, & her other siblings played a prank where they put secret hidden cameras in every corner to see how she bakes the cakes & what ingredients she uses. She had no idea. After she got done decorating a cake for her husband's job, 1 of her brothers, Chad, ran into the room & pointed, laughing, saying, "Ah ha ha! Busted!" Yuri nearly lost her mind, freaking out about her secret being discovered. 

She was upset & said, "Why did you record me?" She started to cry.

Chad told her, "Girl, it ain't that serious. I don't see why you're always gatekeeping your food recipes, & you could be earning a living with that. You could be running your own business." 

Another sister, Tammy, said, "But Yuri don't know nuttin' 'bout runnin' no business though." 

Chad said, "True dat. But why we can't teach her? Who gon' teach her?"

Tammy said, "Let Danasia & Jamie teach her. They got business sense!" 

Chad said, "Well, you know... You can't mess with Jamie because you never know what mood she gon' be in, & I ain't gotz time 4 da foolishness!" (He was trying to be funny, using EXTRA ignorant ebonics.)

Tammy said, "I got time for it!" 

Later on that night, Yuri had an epileptic seizure so bad that she had to be hospitalized. Maybe she was stressing. The hospital said that they were going to have to keep her for a few weeks because she had a head injury during the seizure. They did an MRI test on her brain, & there was a false alarm of a brain tumor. The family started to panic. Come to find out, no brain tumor. What a relief!

While Yuri was in the hospital, a few of her siblings offered to help her run that cake baking business. They finally talked her into starting the business. Her sisters helped her bake & decorate the cakes, while her brothers did all the designs, advertisements & the technical stuff. 

Yuri, her husband & her siblings were able to quit their 9-5 slave jobs & begin the cake business. They even shipped nationwide on Goldbelly. They were always sold out. Many people tried to emulate the recipe, but nobody could get it quite right like Yuri. They thought she had magic hands or something. They kept wondering what they were doing wrong, if they followed the recipe to a T. & the cake would still either come out dry, not taste the same, not be decorated neatly enough, or have some other failures. 

Eventually, Yuri wondered what she had been missing all these years. She & her siblings made more money & enjoyed baking & selling cakes. This helped them be able to have more family time together & vacation more often. 

THE END